


Welcome to Class

by orphan_account



Series: Welcome to Class- Universe [1]
Category: Dimension 20 (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Denial, I promise no graphic depictions, M/M, Multi, Sexual Harassment, aguefort is wild but a good mom, gay riz, sklonda gukgak is a good mom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-11
Updated: 2020-01-21
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:00:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 15
Words: 23,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22203739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: "Riz was by far the smallest in the class and he was so sure he was not going to well. But, Mr. Doronur told him to keep at it, and that he saw good things for him. He really liked Mr. Doronur, but something just didn’t sit well with him. He got a nat 1 on insight,and he couldn’t quite place it. He did know he really liked him though."Riz likes Fighting Class, he just doesn't like Coach Doronur's lingering hands. He learns his friends and his family love him, and that they will do anything for him. He just needs to remember that, first.
Relationships: Adaine Abernant & Riz Gukgak, Adaine Abernant/Figueroth Faeth (background), Ragh Barkrock & Riz Gukgak, Riz Gukgak & Sklonda Gukgak, Riz Gukgak/Fabian Aramais Seacaster, The Bad Kids & Riz Gukgak
Series: Welcome to Class- Universe [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1610209
Comments: 51
Kudos: 132





	1. Syllabus: Introduction

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you like it! There's just such a lack of D20 content I decided to try my hand!

Riz looked at his schedule. There it was. Period 1-Goblin Health - Room 213- Ms. Klovnik. He gulped, understanding what this would entail. Bracing himself, he opened the door, and was greeted by one Ms. Blessica Klovnik with her kind smile for Riz as always. As well as a rowdy group of students throwing things, as always.

Ms. Klovnik was his history teacher both this year and last. She was only 27 and one of the only goblins that taught at Aguefort. She always told the class her crazy stories from her adventuring days, explaining her former battles. Despite being young, she had already written a popular book on the history of races and their religions. She and Kristen had become close as she questioned her religionEven after the formation of Yes! they still talk.

Riz sat front and center, as he always did. Truly a teachers pet through and through.

"Hey Riz, glad to have you again this year! Always a pleasure to have you in class."

"Thanks Ms. Klovnik! It’s good to have you again! How was your summer?” He smiled taking out his binder, labeled Health.

“Good, thanks for asking. The gnomes at the hospital were able to make me a new wheelchair. This one can both climb stairs and sense where I want it to go.” She showed him by wheeling out from her desk and over to him.

“That’s really cool Ms. K-”

The bell interrupted Riz, and the students around him started to calm down. “Hello and welcome to Goblin Health. My name is Ms. Klovnik. I will be your teacher for the next 10 months.” She looked into the crowd of disinterested 15 year olds. She sighed and grabbed the packets lying on her desk. “Remember, you need this class to graduate. This is a syllabus, you do not need to get your parents to sign it. They have no say over what I teach. If they have an issue with you learning about sex, tell them to take it up with Aguefort who will tell them to shove it, so lets make all our lives easier.”

Her candidness and crudeness caused them to snap out of their hidden FantasyGram induced “trance”.

“Now that all of you are awake that reminds me, if I see you on your crystal I will give you a warning and if I catch you on it again, I will give you detention. As this is a class that covers sensitive subjects, and just goes better if we are honest with each other in general; if I catch you recording anything in any type of way, it is 3 immediate detentions and I will take your crystal till the end of class and it will be put on my desk everyday before class for the rest of the year.” 

“You can’t do that!” Sputtered Pytor, the only goblin on the Bloodrush team.

“I can and I will. Besides my Perception is crazy high, I will know.” That shut him up. 

After passing out the syllabi, went back to her desk. There was a very large shoe box that was wrapped in shiny paper and a hole in the lid. “Meet my right hand man. Porter calls his the Box of Doom. It’s just a box, and you can put in any question you want in and I will answer it. It is completely anonymous.”

As soon as she said that, Riz heard in the back of his mind _Finally. You can ask her._ But very quickly his mind supplied, _Don’t. You know you can’t._

“Do not be afraid to ask me anything, seriously. It is not the craziest shit I have heard this week.” That once again earned her a laugh. “Please open to page 3 of your packets. You will see my current plans. Now we won’t necessarily go in this order. We can go into more detail for other projects. But I always start on the You Project. We'll burn that bridge when we get there though. We will cover important Goblin dates, including things like Luthic’s birthday and Patalk’s death. We will also discuss relationships, safe sexual practices including gay, lesbian, and interspecies-”

Riz once again panicked. He could have sworn she was looking at him. Or was it the girl behind him? He could feel his heartbeat. That meant nothing. It was just a coincidence.

“Other units include the effects of drugs on goblins. This includes illicit drugs, alcohol and basic medicine. The way alcohol affects a goblin will obviously be different than a dragonborn, or even a halfling. But that also includes things like cough medicine having dosage issues.” Boy did Riz know that. He slept over at Fabian’s over the summer and took some elven headache medicine and he spent the whole night puking. Fabian kept apologizing as he held him.

“Since Aguefort has given me full reign over my curriculum I have also added 2 new units. We will have a unit going more in depth into consent, harassment, and bullying; and a unit going into racism. If you have any questions, do not be afraid to ask. Right now you may look through the syllabus, I will put on some music.”

She rolled back to her desk and turned on some old fashioned folk music.

“So, Riz what did you do this summer?”

“I finally got my PI liscense, so I started working some cases! I am working with the Elmville newspaper on helping some of the journalists crack the case.” He smiled proudly. He never tried to hide his fangs around Ms. Klovnik. 

“Oh my god! That’s great kid! Oh my gosh, I’m so proud!” She said with a look of true joy and pride. She held up her hand for a high five, and of course he took the chance. He hit a little harder than he meant to. “Ow, dude did you work out or something? You’ve gotten a lot stronger.”

Riz blushed at that. He had, in fact worked out. He spent most of the summer sparring against Fabian at his house. It was so much fun, and they both had really learned a lot. But he chose not to think too much about how Fabian looked after a match. He resolutely decided not to think about it, because he did not care. Absolutely not. Not one single bit.

He could feel his ears growing blue. “Yeah, I practiced fighting. My party kinda set our standards high in terms of battles, early. We have big plans, so I needed to train.”

“Well, don’t stress too much kid. Adventures are fun, and important, but sometimes all a party needs to do is have a slumber party and pizza.” She said, and began to organize for her next class.

\--------------------

Riz did not want to take this dumb fighting classs. Fabian siggested it after they had sparred. And he agreed like a dumbass. So there he was changing into his dumb gym clothes in the deep corner of the locker room. He didn’t want anybody to see him. But he changed and walked out to the small gym, against his better judgement. 

He was surrounded by Elves, and half orcs, and humans. He had never felt so small. He was used to being small, and he was used to being the only goblin around. There weren't that many at Aguefort. Most of his friends weren't goblins, but he felt so much more out of his element here than ever before. 

He had eaten the dragon who killed his father, less than a year ago, but he was still terrified of teenage boys.

As he was doing that self introspection, Coach Doronur walked in. Head coach of the basketball team, and a human fighting teacher. 

"All right hustle up!" Blowing his whistle. They formed a circle around him. "I'll be teaching you basics of fighting, we will focus on both strength based and Dex based for right now. Let's do some warm ups."

They started by running around the track. A cute elevish boy caught Riz's eye. He kept staring back at him, eyeing him. Riz was trying to look handsome, but felt like puking from running so much. 

They had to split into teams for a game of dodgeball. Unsurprisingly, Riz was chosen last. Even more unsurprising, he was out first, getting clocked in the head with the ball. _The ball hits The Ball_ called a familiar voice in the back of his head. Coach Doronur picked him up and pat him on the shoulder. His hand lingered for a moment on Riz's shoulders. 

"Good try Kid. It's the first day of school, it can only get better." He whispered in his ear. 

Riz was suspicious, and rolled for insight. Nat 1. Shit.

He was just being paranoid. That whole thing where the vice principal actually turned out to be the guy that ate his dad and they met exactly one year ago today. Paranoia. Just his anxiety. _This is fine._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave kudos and comments!  
> I drew a little bit of inspo from Peechee's "On the Sexual Origins of Goblins" https://archiveofourown.org/works/21114101?view_adult=true so I just wanted to credit her.
> 
> I have a lot of different things planned for this fic, but I have some other things. Comments really do keep me writing, so if you want more even a little hello will help me finish the next chapter. I take suggestions, leave em in the comments or visit me @darn-it-username-taken on tumblr  
> Also, Me? Start a story with an info dump introduction? Never.


	2. Chapter 2: Heart Flutters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some pining to start, lunch, if these boys could see themselves through the others eyes oh boy

Riz had just walked into the Cafeteria and he could already hear his friends arguing.

“Listen, I’m not saying Stardiamond is good, but he’s better than Daybreak”

“He doesn’t count Kristen. He wasn’t your health teacher.”

“But he did give me the talk! He explained sex to me!”

“He also tried to kill you to start the apocalypse!” Fabian reminded her, as if she did not think about it almost everyday. He started waving at Riz,calling “I saved you a spot!” 

Riz felt his heart flutter.  _ No. I refuse, he is my friend. End of story.  _ When he sat down he noticed Fabian’s hair was still a little wet despite his best efforts to keep it impeccable. He had just come from fighting classes, and showered. As much as Riz’s brain kept trying to get him to stay focused, Riz could not help but notice how  _ hot _ Fabian had gotten over the summer. He always knew he was attractive he was, but he forgot just how nice he looked. He was so used to pretending not to notice he was shirtless while they sparred, that he almost forgot what he looked like with his letterman jacket on.  _ No. Riz, we are smarter than this. Stop it. _

“Ball! Earth to Ball!” Fabian started calling. Riz snapped back to reality, not realizing he had zoned out. Fig laughed and shared a look with Adaine.  _ When did they get here?  _

“I’m sorry, what were you saying?”

“How were your classes? We were complaining about Health teachers.”

“Oh it was fine! Ms. Klovnik was my history teacher last year. She’s awesome! She was the one who also fought a dragon!” Riz smiled, taking out his lunch. 

“Oh yeah my parents helped make her wheelchair this summer!” Gorgug smiled.  _ When did he get here? Fucking Hell, I thought my perception was high. _

“Ah, well I see you lucked out.” He grumbled picking at his lunch.

“Stop Fabian, you are just upset because he told you to put your crystal away!” Adaine rolled her eyes.

“Why are you even in our class? I thought it was supposed to be half elves exclusively!” He retorted.

“So did I! Do you think I want to hear you talk about your plans to romance my sister!”

Riz felt a pain in his chest, and was reminded why his brain kept telling him to stop. _ He’s not gonna like me. Why would he like me? _

“What happened? I thought all the health classes are race-based? All the different reproductive systems and shit?” Kristen asked.

“No elf wanted the position. I heard Aguefort ask Gilear if he wanted it but he said ‘I would rather die’” Adaine explained. The whole table shuttered at the thought of Gilear teaching sex ed.

“Moving on!” Fabian said loudly very quickly, avoiding dwelling on the subject any further. “Riz how were those fighter classes I told you to take a level in?”

He had just come from that class, and he wasn’t sure if he entirely liked it. He was by far the smallest in the class and he was so sure he was not going to well. But, Mr. Doronur told him to keep at it, and that he saw good things for him. He really liked Mr. Doronur, but something just didn’t sit well with him. He got a nat 1 on insight,and he couldn’t quite place it. He did know he really liked him though.

“I don’t know, I’m not sure if I’m going to stick with it. But it gets me out of gym so I guess I’ll keep at it. I just came from there, actually.”

“Seriously? The Ball, why didn’t you tell me?! We could be locker neighbors!” Fabian smacked him on the arm excitedly. Riz gulped. 

“Sure, tomorrow.” He said, them shoved half his sandwich in his mouth to avoid talking about it.

The rest of lunch was just them complaining about teachers, Fig accusing Porter of things he clearly did not do, and things were just as they were last week and the week before that. They hung out almost everyday in the summer, parents just taking turns hosting the rambunctious teens.

After the bell rang, Riz had gone to the trash to throw out the orange peels, when he heard a familiar voice call him. He turned around, “Hey Jason!” He smiled nervously.

“You have history next? With Mrs. Klovnik?” Jason had beautiful bright teeth, and gold hair. He was a senior, and a High Elf. He lived on the other side of Strong Tower, with his mom.

“Yeah, Ms. Klovnik Room 213.” He tied to correct Jason without being rude.

“Me too, do you want to walk together?” His eyes were a beautiful bright blue. Riz felt his heart flutter a little at the offer. 

“Sure, I’ve got my briefcase let’s go.” He took one last book at Fabian, and remembered Aelwyn. He picked up his speed to match Jason’s long strides.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've changed the plan and I will have the tags reflect that. Comments really do keep me writing, so if you want more even a little hello will help me finish the next chapter. bother me @darn-it-username-taken on tumblr.


	3. Chapter 3: Not a Problem

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First fight of the school year, and Riz is first up.

School had been going on for about a month now, and Riz could not be happier. He and Jason walked together everyday, andthey had started texting each other at night.

He was acing his classes, studying hard, and he and his freidns ate lunch together. Even Fighting was going well. It was their first test, a sparring match between students. 

Riz and Fabian had lockers next to each other and it is not an issue. Why would it even be an issue.  _ We are best friends of course we have lockers next to each other. Nobody is saying there’s a problem, what are you talking about?  _

“Ball, could you believe it! Gilear is now, moved in with me!” Fabian said throwing his hands up in frustration. Riz grumbled, and Fabian took it as support. Fabian was working with Jawbone on being less selfish and taking a genuine interest in his friends’ lives. His father’s death hit him hard. The reason Riz kept going over to his house was, because he remembered how hard losing his dad was. The Bad Kids had a sleepover almost every week, but Riz and Fabian would stay over at each other’s places 3 times a week at least. Sklonda had meant it when she said he could come over any time, and living in his dad’s ship was too painful some days.“How are things going with your mom and Gortholax?”

That got Riz to pipe up, “It’s fine, they mostly just go out. He’s coming over next Friday to hang out. I think my mom just wants me to like him.”

“Do you?”

“I mean, I don’t hate him. I miss my dad, but so does she. And I can’t expect her to mourn forever. She’s still so young,and he’s a good guy. Demon. Whatever. Besides Fig is coming over too. We are gonna have a sleepover.”

“Your mom lets you have girls over?” Fabian laughed. Sklonda Gukgak was not a helicopter, nor overprotective mom. But no one would say she would let her son do whatever he wants, she just wasn’t like that.

“Of course,its-ah-not—” 

RING RING RING “Get in the gym!” Gortholax shouted.

_ Saved by the bell _

Riz and Jason were stretching next to each other.

“Hey, so how’d you do on the history test?” Jasonn asked. Riz looked at him, and how perfect he looked.  _ He’s no Fabian _ his mind supplied.  _ Why would I care he’s not Fabian?  _

“98, I know my stuff on the history of Oracles, what can I tell you.”

“Maybe during srudy hall we could study together? I just can’t seem to get it.” Jason flashed a beautiful smile,  _ God those perfect white teeth _ .

“Sure, I usually work on a case, but we can get ready for the quiz on monday.”

They both needed to ace this fight, or else they wouldn’t be able to continue in the class. He would be dropped down another level to Fighting for Rogues, and Jason to Fighting for Bards. Riz would not be allowed to attempt to Fighter multiclass again till next year.

The sounds of Coach Doronur’s voice snapped him out of his own head “Alright! Alright! Alright! First up it’s Gukgak vs. Eloquin!” Magnus Eloquin was a human and a senior. He was twice Riz’s size and was on the Bloodrush team. The voice in Riz’s head kept telling him to run. _. _ But he got into the ring, with a sly smile Magnus did so as well.

“Ready Briefcase Kid?” He laughed, and Riz was filled with an anger in the pit of his stomach. He had saved Penny. He had stopped Kalvaxus, he had eaten the dragon for fuck’s sake! He was not going to let some smug senior call him briefcase kid. His vision narrowed, his focused keened.

_ I’m going to fuck this bitch up. _

Coach blew his whistle, and Riz got a 19 initiative. He knocked Magnus off of his feet and grappled him. Then he did 12 points of damage with Fury of the Small. Magnus escaped his grapple, but missed his attack. Riz knocked him to his feet and punched him in the nose, more damage. Magnus attempted to grapple him, but Riz was able to break out. Attacked him again for another 15 points, and Coach Doronur blew his whistle again. Riz rolled onto his back right next to Magnus, out of breath. Magnus looked very  _ very  _ mad. 

“That’s enough boys! Gukgak won!” He walked over to him and picked him up. He pat Riz on the back, and pulled him into a side hug. He felt Doronur’s hand on his waist as he looked out on his class. 

He couldn’t help but smile, looking at their open mouths and wide eyes.  _ No one thought a goblin could beat him. No one thought  _ **I** _ could beat him, but I did. Dad must be proud. _

While he kept looking at his class, he still felt Doronur’s hand on his waist.  _ This is fine, it’s not a problem. _ He pretended to clear his throat. “Uhm, coach could I go hit the showers early?” He was still grinning, but he noticed he was drenched in sweat.

“Sure, go ahead kid.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Might take me longer to get some chapters up, because some of this comes from personal experience and it is a little difficult to write at times. As always: Comments really do keep me writing, so if you want more even a little hello will help me finish the next chapter. bother me @darn-it-username-taken on tumblr.


	4. Chapter 4: I shouldn’t feel this way

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all, if you hadn't read the warning I'll remind you that this is gonna get dark. Please, please, please take care of yourself. I am basing Riz's experiences on similar ones I have faced. I cannot control how you manage your digital health, I can only do my best to warn you. No chapters will go into graphic details into what happens, mainly because it will just trigger me, however there will be descriptions of what Riz feels in the aftermath of events. I love you all, please do what is best for you.

Adaine, Fig, and Kristen had gone on a field trip for magic users to see the Elmville Museum of Magic with Mr. Stardiamond. The boys of the Bad Kids plus Ragh were sitting at lunch, recounting their tales of Battle Classes. 

“Oh my god! Fabian, you should have seen it, I was better than when we took down Johnny Spells! You wouldn’t believe it, I took that mother fucker  _ down _ !"

"I could believe it! The Ball you have sparred against the best fighters in the world! Of course you could defeat  _ Maganus Eloquin _ !” Fabian cheered, he hugged his goblin friend from the side, cheering not too loudly but with much excitement, “The Ball is my best friend and a fighter!”

Riz felt his stomach drop, and his face redden. It wasn’t the nervous butterflies he was used to with Fabian. He knew he kept trying to push them down, but he  _ knows  _ how  _ those  _ feel. This is so different, it is almost indescribable. The painfully empty feeling in the pit of his stomach is accompanied by a pain in his chest, and the feeling tears in his eyes that just won’t form. 

Fabian was holding him the same way Doronur did.

_ I shouldn’t feel this way _ .  _ Nothing happened, this is stupid. I swear I am going crazy.  _ It wasn’t Fabian’s hands he felt on his body. They were not the soft, ever manicured fingers of his friend, the half elf. No he felt the long almost claw like nails of a half orc, digging a little too far into his hip. 

He felt like he could throw up.

“Thanks, Fabian.” He did his best to smile weakly. He pushed the pasta around his plate staring intently into it. 

Fabian looked at him, a little disappointed at the weak response, but smiled nonetheless. Fabian had worked a while on being more open with his feelings, and if anyone would know how big a public declaration like that would be for Fabian, it would be Riz. He chose not to question his friend’s quick mood turn. 

It was Ragh who saw the change and said something. “That’s awesome bro! Congrats on the fight!” Ragh tried to say with his usual fervor, but even his voice faltered. Riz was only able to manage a kind smile his way. “Hey, uh, who's your teacher dude?”

“Doronur,” Riz said quickly. Even quicker were his suspicions as a detective, “Why?”

Ragh noticed that look of panic in his eye. He filed that away. In a simialr panic all he supplied was “Just curious.” And prayed to whatever god would listen that he wouldn’t dig deeper.

The gods must have listened to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me coping through writing fic? Yes it's unoriginal, but I'm enjoying. I hope you are too, liek I said your own mental health matters so much. Please be mindful.  
>  Y'all this was originally a one shot where Riz puked at a video of goblin birth in health class, shit got real fast.  
> As always: comments and kudos please. I am going to be very honest for a second, yes I am writing this fic because I want to. But that doesn't mean it is not difficult to write. I mean this in a very real sense, your comments on this fic keep it going. I will do my best to finish on my deadlines I've set for myself, but if you like this please comment. You can come chill with me @darn-it-username-taken.


	5. Chapter 5: Things are Perfect

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My love goes out to all the people at CollegeHumor who lost their jobs. i doubt (and somewhat hope) that they are not reading this, but I hope they land on their feet. They have certainly helped me out in a dark time, and I will do everything I can to support them.

Things were well.  _ Why would they not be.  _ Riz had great friends, a great mom, and a great life.  _ What could possibly be wrong _ . So what if he felt like puking every time he went to Fighting? So what if he pretended to be sick during period 4 that way he could leave by 5 to avoid suspicion? So what if he kept meeting with the college counselor during that period? So what if Doronur’s touches started to linger longer, and go further? Doronur didn’t didn’t mean anything by it,  _ he’s just like that _ .

Things were better than well actually. He and Jason,  _ A senior I might add, _ were hanging out more and more often. They would study in the library every day, walk to the classes they shared together, and Riz would be crazy to say he didn’t have feelings for him.

Riz was willing to admit that he had had a crush on Fabian, but he understood that Fabian was in love with Aelwyn. Riz was over him. Absolutely. 100% over him. In fact, he was so over him, he was going to ask Jason out. He really liked him, and he was just so  _ hot _ .

He wanted to talk to his dad about it, ask him where they should go, and what to do. He never got to ask his dad about dating, never mind the fact he was gay. He hadn’t even told his mom yet. He hadn’t told anyone yet. He just didn’t know how, and he didn’t know who to ask. Kristen was an option,  _ No she’s not. I love her, but you know it will be a big deal. _

That’s when he figured it out.

___

He had planned this all out last night. He and Fig rode to school that day. He had a paper in his hand. He had written it with his left hand that way no one could figure out it was him if they saw it. He told Fig he had a test and needed some bardic inspiration. She, of course gave him a wink and said “You know I’ve always got you, babe.”

“Is that cheating?” Gilear asked from the driver’s seat.

“No, not in the handbook at least.” Riz said taking it out of his briefcase of holding.

“The principal last year was an evil dragon, because our current principal commit a murder-suicide in an attempt to stop him. Does bardic inspiration on a test matter?” 

“I guess not, but is it necessary to be snappy with me Figueroth?”

The bardic wasn’t for a test.

* * *

He got a 24 on his Sleight of Hand with Fig’s bardic inspiration. He slipped it in the box and waited.

Ms. Klovnik wheeled into class with her kind smile and eager eyes, and Riz found himself calming down. She got ready for the day, organizing her desk. Riz found himself looking between her and the Box of Doom, waiting for class to start.

The bell rang, the class filed in and settled down. “Alright boys, girls, and friends beyond the binary, you know what time it is!” As they did every day, they began to drum with their hands in anticipation. “How do I tell my friends and family I’m gay?”

The class fell silent immediately. 

“Okay well, a hush fell over the crowd.” The class was able to laugh at their own ability to become uncomfortable. “Like all difficult conversations, that’s extremely personal. I cannot tell  _ you  _ how to do it. I can only speak to my own experiences. When I told my dad I’m a lesbian, he just immediately understood. My parents were always those morally upright, model minority goblins. I was so worried about what he would say, but he just told me he loved me and went right back to eating. I guess the most common thread in all of my positive coming out was food.” She always knew how to make the class laugh in a serious moment.

“Remember it is always your decision, and your safety comes first. If you ever need to talk, I’m here.”

She went to the next question, about the effects of caffeine on goblins, and he knew he should pay attention but he was too busy making his plans to focus. 

Soon enough the bell rang and class was over, he waited for everybody else to file out, to avoid suspicion he packed up his briefcase very slowly. 

“Ms. Klovnik?”

“Yeah Riz?”

“I’m gay.” Riz blurted out. He had a whole beautiful speech about his experiences as a goblin have affected his view of his own sexuality, but all his brain could do was blurt it out.

“Cool, thanks for telling me kid,” She said patting him on the shoulder. The claws were such a familiar feeling on his skin. He felt the pit that seemed to set up shop in his stomach form again, and his blood run cold. “I’m really proud of you. If anyone gives you shit, tell me. I’ll fuck em up for ya. Not that I’d need to, word on the street is that you're the best fighter in your class” She smiled. He began to panic, who told her? How’d she know? Were people talking about him? Was Doronur talking about him?

“Thanks Ms. Klovnik! I gotta run to my next class!” He called, already running out the door. She was confused but thought it was a big moment for Riz and everyone reacts differently to their first time.

Riz sprinted to the nearest bathroom and puked. He couldn’t stop crying. He felt so stupid.  _ You idiot! Ms. Klovnik is a good person she’s nice! She’s nice! She cares about you! _

He puked again.

“Uhhh dude are you okay? Do you want me to get the nurse?” A familiar voice rang. He couldn’t place it as his mind was filled with only panic. He had to wrestle his brain for control of his voice.

“No I’m fine. I-uh- ate something bad last night.” Riz called trying to contain himself, while failing.

“Are you sure? I can stay with you if you want.” Riz realized it was Ragh.

“No, I’m good. I just need a second.” He lied.

“Okay I guess, uh let me know if you need anything. Seriously dude, anything, I’ve got a study hall.” Ragh said all loud jock energy gone.

“Really Ragh, I’m fine. My mom needs to stop ordering me that seafood from the diner is all.”

“Okay, I guess I’ll see you at lunch. I’ll get you some bread.” There was an emotion in his voice Riz couldn’t quite place. An almost sad sort of familiarity.

“You don’t need to do that-”

“Too late bro, I’m going to the supermarket!” He called, and Riz panicked. If he brought the bread, his friends would realize he was sick. They could figure out why he was sick, that he was too weak to handle himself. They could find someone new,  _ there are so many people better than me. _ Riz jumped to his feet and burst the door open.

“Wait!”

“Yeah?” Ragh said, with almost a glimmer of hope in his eyes.

“Can you take me to the nurse? I wanna call my mom.”

“Sure bro, I got you.” He said smiling at him.

They walked in silence most of the way there, mainly because Riz could only look at the floor. His mind was usually overactive. He was used to his brain going a million miles a minute. This silence -the calm- that was what was unbearable.

“Do you know what you ate?” Ragh asked, interrupting the uncomfortable stillness of Riz’s mind.

“Huh?”

“Your stomach, you said you ate something bad.”

“Oh yeah, my mom, she uh, ordered… pizza. Something was up with it though.” Riz couldn’t help but lie. He didn’t want to.  _ It’s just-its-he won’t get it. He doesn’t know. _

They had already walked into the nurse’s office without him noticing.  _ For fuck’s sake, what is wrong with me? I thought I was the perceptive one. _

“Yikes, that sucks bro.” He said with a forced laugh. _ He saw through it _ . He got very serious leaning down on one knee to talk to Riz face to face, “Listen, bro I care about you. A lot. We’ve been through some shit, I know I’m not… the smartest guy in the room. You could talk circles around me, I know… but like, I can still listen. bro I understand more than I let you know. I’m always here if you need anything. Anything dude, I care about you a lot” As Ragh told him a difficult truth to remember, the waves of familiar love washed over Riz. He knew this was his chance, he wanted to tell Ragh everything.  _ Ragh, I am gay. I am in love with Fabian Aramais Seacaster, but I’m working on it. I know Coach Doronur is a creep, and he keeps touching me, but I don’t know what to do. I feel more alone than I have ever in my entire goddamn life, please help me. Please help me. Please- _

“I’m fine Ragh, I just ate too much pizza.” Was all that came out. While his mouth failed him, his eyes did not. His eyes, ever the rebel, teared up. The good part of Riz’s brain committing it’s silent acts of rebellion against his own sense of self preservation, let him cry. The tears told Ragh this is not over. He pulled him into a hug. Riz, for once doesn’t flinch at the touch. He hugs him right back, till he runs into the nurse’s office.

* * *

He sat staring up in the nurse's office for what felt like an eternity. He remembered seeing Ostentatious here less than 6 months ago. He remembered her being in a palimpsest and the terror all the maidens head. He remembers his own almost every day.

His overactive thoughts were interrupted by his mother walking in.

“Hey bud. Not feeling well…?” Riz could hear the ‘again’ in her voice. She has been busy at the precinct, so normally Gortholax takes him home. He was at a Bloodrush conference. It was her first day off in weeks, and she was resting.  _ You shouldn’t have bothered her. She sacrifices so much for you, and you seriously had to bother her- _

“I signed you out. You’ve got a doctor’s appointment tomorrow. Let’s talk in the car.” She was unreadable. He could not figure out what she was alluding to. Riz panicked. His mom was perceptive as hell, with insight even higher.  _ I’m fucked. _

He didn’t know why he couldn’t tell anyone. He loved his friends and family  _ so  _ much, and they loved him too. They would do anything for him, and he would be the same. Why couldn’t those words fall out?  _ I am trying to tell you what is happening, but not even I know what is going on. _

By the time his mind calmed enough to recognize where they were, they were in the parking lot of Strong Tower Luxury Apartments. 

“Bud, I love you. And I trust you, but… I need you to trust me too.” She said as she looked at him with an almost disappointed - _ no that’s not quite right _ \- It wasn’t angry enough for disappointment, nor was it sad enough. It was pure worry. The tears in her eyes began to fall, they had welled a long time ago. “I don’t know if it is something I did, and if it was I am  _ so  _ sorry. Riz I love you more than anything in this world. I would walk through all Nine Hell’s for you. There is not a thing in this world that could change my love for you.”

As soon as she had started tearing up, Riz couldn’t stop his own tears. He grabbed her and pulled her into a tight hug. It was the kind of hug that reminded him of when he was little and all he could think about was how much he missed his dad.  _ God, what I wouldn’t give for a hug from my dad right now. _

“Mom,” He said voice so low she could barely here him. “Mom. I’m gay”

She pulled him tighter, they both felt the parking brake and the gear shift going into their hips.

“Thanks for telling me, Bud.” She whispered in his ear, hugging him tighter. “I love you so much. I need you to know how much I love you.”

“I do, Mom I do. It’s just things are so hard, I can’t tell anyone-” RIz said quietly.

She pulled back, looking him in the eyes, “Riz Gukgak, there is not a thing in this world you can’t tell me. If we don’t have each other, who do we have?” A wave of calm ran through his body, he was flooded with the moments from his childhood of his mom picking him up off the ground. The nights spent watching  _ Murder She Wrote _ when he had nobody else. She understood him better than any soul living or dead. She would understand this. He resolved to tell his mom everything in the morning. It had been a long day.

“I remember being a teenager, I remember the secrets I kept. I don’t want you to feel like you need to hide yourself from me. I am always here for you.” She said, pulling him back into a hug.

* * *

They both fell asleep on the couch watching  _ Murder She Wrote _ , just as they had so many difficult nights before. For the first time in weeks, Riz slept soundly. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took me longer, because the chapters are getting loner, but I'm really excited for what I have planned! I rewrote this a few times, and I'm pretty proud of how it came out. I think you'll like it! The chapters will take me a bit longer, because they are longer. There's a lot of BIG developments to come that are just larger by sheer volume of words necessary.  
> Worldbuilding off of this universe is so difficult. How is Riz supposed to use my daily swears, when half of them don’t exist in this world.   
> As always: Comments really do keep me writing, so if you want more- even a little hello- will help me finish the next chapter. bother me @darn-it-username-taken on tumblr.


	6. Chapter 6: It Might Kill Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Riz and Jason have a chat while fighting. Riz and Fabian make plans. Riz stumbles upon a daunting realization.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope you like this chapter! I wasn't expecting to write it so fast, but I figured since there might not be a new chapter for a couple days. I've got stuff to do, but you could enjoy my favorite to write so far.

Riz did not end up telling his mother that morning. She had woken him up with a kiss on the forehead and told him she loved him and that she needed to go in to work. She apologized profusely and promised to talk later.

He got ready to face the day once more, scrounging around the apartment for clean laundry. His friends had managed to wrestle him out of three piece suits over the summer (mainly due to the heat). He found himself turning to the clothes his friends got him for his birthday; t-shirts, hoodies, jeans more and more. His mother had brought home more than enough EVPD crew neck sweatshirts over the years that he just threw one on with a pair of jeans. He would only really put the suit on while working.

His friends had all worked out a carpool schedule, since the kids on the bus kept making fun of him. He was pretty much on everyone’s way to school (he wasn’t, but he didn’t understand that yet. They just love him). Since Adaine, Kristen, and Jawbone lived together (and Tracker, but she didn’t go to Aguefort), they drove together. They would pick him up most days, but on Mondays Gilear would pick up Fig and Riz. But, every now and then Riz would be surprised in the groupchat, and Fabian would pick him up on the Hangman. It was rare, since Fabian was from the other side of town.

Today was one of those few days. Riz had struggled enough getting out of bed. He had completely forgotten to check who was picking him up, when he stood outside of his apartment looking for Sandralynn (now Jawbone’s) minivan.

It was only till he saw the familiar red of the motorcycle that he realized he was going with Fabian.

“Climb on, The Ball.” Fabian said without any further conversation, and Riz listened. Riz held tightly to Fabian and was reminded how helplessly in love with him he was. Fabian, who had cried to him on his tiny bed over the summer. Stupid, spoiled, Fabian who had not said a word about Riz’s apartment’s size or simpleness. Fabian who knew what it was like to lose his dad. Fabian, who held him when they had fallen asleep sharing his bed, and Riz didn’t bother to wake him up. Riz wished he would hold him like that again.

“Hey, Riz. I was wondering what you were doing this weekend?” Fabian asked after pulling into the school parking lot. 

“Not much, my mom and I are going to hang out on Saturday.” Riz said almost embarrassed. His mom was still his best friend, but Fabian understood. He knew what she meant to him.

“Perfect, Saturday I have to do some Aelwyn intel-”

_ Right. Aelwyn. Fabian won’t hold you because he already has someone to hold.  _

“But, on uhm, Sunday I was wondering if you’d maybe want to,um come with me, to see my father?” Fabian had that look of desperation in his eye. For someone to understand what he was going through. “You don’t have to! If you don’t want to”

_ I understand _ . “Of course, I will always be here. I would love to visit your dad with you.”

“We can visit your dad too.” Fabian suggested with those kind eyes and caring smile that made Riz’s insides melt. Very few people (nobody) were allowed to visit his dad with him, besides his mom. “Not that we have to! I get it if you don’t want me to see him.” He added hurriedly. He wanted to give Riz an out.

“I need to visit him, we have a lot to talk about.” Riz was going to talk to the grave, and pray to whatever god Kristen was on about this time, his dad would hear. “Fabian- I’d, I want to say hello, but I’m not sure if I am ready to show him other people. I don’t just want to steal a ride, but-”

“You can always steal a ride on the Hangman.” Fabian said with resolve, like it was a truth of the world, not to be argued or debated. 

They stood in the courtyard, underneath a tree just staring at each other for what felt like an eternity and merely seconds at oncem before the first bell rang. 

___________

He sprinted to Klovnik’s class but was still late.  _ Shouldn’t have spent all that time pining.  _ He managed to sneak in, as not to disturb the lesson. She was at the front of the classroom, in her Serious Talk face.

“You’re all young, I’m not that much older than you. I know you are going to parties. There’s drinking, and drugs-”

“Fuck you! Cloves aren’t even that bad!” Pyotr calls from the back, again. All Riz could do was roll his eyes at this point.

“Wow, not where this was going  _ at all _ . I’m not going to say don’t drink or do drugs, I’m not an idiot, you’ll still do it. You really think we’re doing the ‘Just say No’ shit? We’ve all seen Aguefort snort coke,  _ on stage. At, an. assembly. _ Like be safe, but let’s not kid ourselves.” The class laughed at that. Not because of the crudeness,but because they really had all seen Arthur Aguefort take a serious amount of drugs at school. “No, I’m not going to tell you to never do shit, I’ll save my breath. I will tell you, you need to be careful of any drug. Anything taken in excess will be bad, but especially for goblins. Be aware of how much and what you take. A clove every now and then? It might not be the end of the world, but we are smaller so just like medicines, everything should be proportional and in moderation. Even a legal drug- alcohol- can have deadly effects. Have you ever heard of the Goblin Killer?”

“Isn’t it the Halfling Killer?” Pyotr asked

“They’re used interchangeably. It’s a completely fine drink for half orcs, tieflings, dragonborns, etc. It’s an intense drink on elves and humans. Halflings, pixies, gnomes and goblins usually puke for a good few minutes than pass out. If untreated it could lead to severe alcohol poisoning. Treatment involves getting your stomach pumped, at the least. Your liver takes years to recover, if ever”

The class was silent in terror. Riz though back to Bill’s snuff, he worried about what it could have done to him.

“I only say this to remind you to be mindful of what you drink, and what you take. Don’t try to be the cool one, it’s not worth your life.”

____

Riz as always walked as slow as humanly possible, and changed as slowly as possible, while also keeping little exposed. He avoided looking at anybody else. He tried to ignore Fabian, but he could add 1 minute and 27.8 seconds if he looked at him while he talked.

“The Ball, you wouldn’t believe it. I am getting good at this whole cooking class I am taking! I am making a whole dinner next week and it’s worth half my grade!” He said excitedly sharing his plan. Riz nodded and did his best to follow along. But Riz felt like he was being watched, and rolled high enough insight to  _ know _ he was being watched. He just didn’t know who, but he had a strong, disgusting suspicion. 

Jason and Riz were in the workout room sparring. Doronur had them practice for the test at the end of the week. Riz had finally worked up the nerve to ask him out.

“Hey, Riz!” Jason shouted, while dodging a swing from the smaller boy.

“Kinda busy right now!” he laughed taking out Jason’s legs from underneath him. Riz was sitting on top of him, grinning like a cat. “What’d I tell you? Watch the legs!” He counted down the seconds to win the match.

Jason flipped him, and was now on top. “What’d I tell  _ you _ ? Don’t get cocky.” He was sweaty so his gym shirt clung to him showing off his great abs, and his hair fell into his perfect eyes. “You wanna go out?” He asked smirking.

Riz’s mind could not compute. This perfect boy was sitting on him, and wanted to go out. He lied there completely frozen.

“I WIN!” Jason shouted, and Riz’s heart sank.  _ It was a diversion. And a good one at that. Number one rule, don’t get distracted. You know that. _

Jason through his arms up in the air, then rolled over onto his back next to Riz. “I was serious by the way. There’s a concert at the Black Pit tonight at seven. Theodosia and the Ocean Riders. I have an extra ticket, and I’ve been looking for a date.”

“GUKGAK! EXCELSIOR! STOP FLIRTING! GET TO WORK OR GET A ROOM!” Doronur shouted from the other side of the gym. He heard a few of his classmates giggle. Riz didn’t blush, no, he felt bile rise in his throat. He thought about the wide open fields his dad took him to as a child, and he felt a bit calmer.

Mr. Diu rang the bell for class dismissal, and Jason got up. He picked Riz up and they walked back to the locker room. He dropped him off at his spot next to Fabian’s and winked at him.

“I’ll pick you up at 7.” Once again Riz could not compute. He stood there till Fabian looked at him, staring into space with heart’s in his eyes.

“You’re in a good mood,” He smirked.

“I’ve got a date tonight!” Riz said shaking Fabian excitedly. 

Fabian was not nearly as excited as he was. “Wow! Congratulations that’s great! I’m, I’m happy for you. Who’s the lucky lady?”

Riz reminded himself that he had never actually had this conversation with his friends. 

“Oh no, Fabian. I’m uh,” He took a deep breath, and pictured that field they used to roll down. “Fabian, I’m gay.”

“Oh, cool,” Fabian said and is face appeared to be doing math.  _ I can hear you thinking _ , he so desperately wanted to say. “Thank you for telling me.”

“Yeah, I was gonna tell everyone at lunch. But Jason just asked me out.” Riz was honestly very disappointed with Fabian’s reaction. He didn’t know how he wanted him to react, but he imagined telling your best friend you have been asked out for the first time would be met with more excitement “My first date!”

“Congratulations The Ball! Jason is a lucky gentlemen!” Fabian said, seeming to get some of his vibrato back, but Riz could see through it in his sleep.    
He collected his shower stuff and headed for the corner shower with the dark lights, and the burning water. He didn’t mind, he didn’t want anyone to see him, and it was the furthest from the offices. He checked his phone. 

**Mom (3) missed calls 3 new messages**

**Mom: Sorry bud, won’t be home till late.**

**Mom: You’re doctor’s appointment is cancelled.**

**Mom: Not because I have to work late.**

**Mom: Wait no yes. Bud find a new doctor, you’re current one got arrested.**

_ Fuck, I was going to blow off my mom. _ He felt guilty, the problem solved itself, but he should have remembered that they were going to talk.

He let the water wash over him, wishing more than anything that it could reach his soul. He wanted to cleanse his soul.

He was getting ready and looking at himself in the mirror while the bell rang. He sprinted out the door, through the gym to the lunchroom. That’s when he stopped short. He looked across the room, and felt the world collapsing in on him.

There, Gorthalax the Insatiable, his mother’s first boyfriend since his father’s death years ago, Fig’s father, the man who drove him to and from slumber parties stood, laughing, with his arm around Coach Doronur. 

It dawned on Riz that Gortholax probably knew what Doronur was like. If he told his mom what was happening, she would blame Gortholax. His mother deserved happiness, she was actually happy with Gortholax. He couldn’t afford to ruin that for her. 

Besides, what she doesn’t know won’t kill her.  _ But it might kill me _ .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again sorry for any mistakes, I was trying to get this up before my classes really started. I really hope you like it though, there's a lot of exciting things coming up. I'm also outlining a sequel mini series to this if you like this one. (I mean I'm probably going to do it whether you like it or not. I hope people like this fic, I write it because I want to read it. But you liking it always feels nice.)  
> I should have the next chapter up by next tuesday, but I'm a little busy. I will say, comments really do keep me to my deadlines.   
> As always: Comments really do keep me writing, so if you want more- even a little hello- will help me finish the next chapter. bother me @darn-it-username-taken on tumblr.


	7. Chapter 7: It's Not Stupid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was a weird fucking day.

Fabian and Riz walked out to the lunchroom. They sat at their usual table, Ragh and the Bad Kids. They were all already sitting there eating their lunch. Fig was sitting closely next to Adaine, as they shared their lunches. Zelda sat in Gorgon's lap, and Ragh was at the other side of them smiling and eating an entire bucket of chicken wings. Riz would never understand just how much a half orc could eat. A realization hit Riz like a ton of bricks, _ I forgot lunch, FUCK, so stupid. _

He was so embarrassed,  _ if I don’t say anything they won’t notice. _

“HEY! HOW’S IT GOING BROS?!?” Ragh shouted. Riz felt his head pound, he didn’t remember getting a headache, but nowadays most days he had a headache so he wouldn’t be surprised.

“Ragh, my friend, why?” Riz said, as he felt his stomach grumble. His whole body ached. Last night was the first time in months that he slept through the night, and he felt it. It was like he had forgotten what he was  _ supposed _ to feel like. He remembered back to a few days ago, and the deepness and the darkness of the circles under his eyes. It was becoming increasingly more apparent that the storm of all the chaos in his life would take him if he did not do something, and fast.

“Bro, I like care about the both of you, and I was wondering what is up with the both of you?” Ragh’s new sense of kind chaos was still surprising to Riz. They had come so far from  _ The Ball _ , and the scar had healed, but he still sees it from time to time. He feels guilty whenever he remembers how afraid he was that The Ball would be the new Briefcase Kid. He knows it’s not fair to Ragh, and he felt so  _ stupid _ .

“I’m doing fine.” Riz said snapping, he really hadn’t intended to be curt, but it came out that way. Ragh looked a little deflated, and Riz knew he wasn’t being kind or fair, but he didn’t know how to stop. It left an uncomfortable silence in their air.

Fig and Adaine looked at each other, at Ragh, at Fabian, and at Gorgug, and they all seemed to nod at each other. It was Adaine who spoke first. “Riz, um, you’ve seemed a little weird recently. We were a little worried.”

Riz looked at her surprised, no not surprised, just a little off guard. He knew this was coming, he knew he wasn’t himself. If he was honest, he hadn’t been himself for a very long time, if he was really honest he had forgotten how to be himself. He was just surviving.

“Yeah, dude, you like, don’t respond to my texts. You’ve like been ignoring me, and at first I was a little pissed, like I thought we were friends. At this point I’m not even mad, I’m just worried. This isn’t the Riz I know, and I just want my friend back.” Fig admitted. He felt the tears well up. Riz felt so bad, in his attempt to stop himself from drowning, had failed to realize he was taking his friends with him.

“I know that like I’m not the smartest, but like I care about you and I can understand pretty well. Whatever this is about I’m here for you!” Gorgug said with that enthusiastic and caring smile, and Riz just  _ hurt _ . He loved them so much, and he had wanted to tell them so much for so long. Gorgug was a loyal friend, he had been with him even when he was a social pariah. He was so afraid of the worst scenario, he forgot it was also the least likely.

Riz took a deep breath, as the dam behind his eyes broke, “I know, and I am sorry. I don’t entirely know how to explain things. There’s been a lot going on.”

“The Bal- Riz. We are here with you, for the good, and the bad. We care about you, that means caring about you through the rough stuff. We like you for more than just the stuff that’s useful and fun.” Fabian said, placing a hand on his shoulder. Riz felt the air in his lungs leave.

“I guess I’ll start in a fairly easy spot.”  _ The wide open field, behind our old house. Those rolling hills. _ “Guys, I’m gay.” His friends politely nodded, realizing there was more to this.

“-But that’s not the only thing that’s been going on.”  _ The Field. The Field. The Field. _ “I… I have been… things have been a little… weird. I don’t know quite how to explain it. I’m not sure if I’m ready to explain it all, but I know I’ve wanted to tell you for quite a long time.” He thought very deeply about what he would say next, what he was willing to say, what he wasn’t. In earnest, he thought about what would worry them too much. He didn’t want them to worry. 

“There has been a… person, and they have been… making me, making me feel uncomfortable. Everytime I tried to tell someone, it felt like my throat was closing. The words got stuck in my chest. Then it had been going on too long, I was embarrassed. Like everything was my fault. It didn’t start bad, but it got worse. I didn’t want to disappoint you guys no. It’s stupid-”

“Nothing you have said, or are about to say is stupid.” Ragh said with a deadly seriousness.

“Yeah, I’ve seen you at your stupidest! You asked me what a tire was in August!” Gorgug said with a laugh, and it put Riz at ease. He knew he should feel a little insulted, but Gorgug was just reminding him in his own way of what they have been through.

“I was so worried about what you would say.-” He saw all of them open their mouths to protest. “Stop. Okay. I know you love me. I know you would never judge me. It was not a rational fear, it was so much more than fear. This person is trusted, powerful, well liked. I was terrified of hi- them. And I was terrified that they’d make you side with them. I couldn’t afford to lose you. This whole thing was irrational, but that didn’t stop that it felt so  _ true _ .” He felt himself whisper the last part.

Fabian had a furious look in his eye, but Adaine shot him a look. He stood down.

“Riz, I need you to know that nothing that could have possibly happened, would be your fault. You are so much more than what happened. When or if you are ever ready, we will be here with you, to talk about the rest. To be with you through the good, and we will especially be here for the bad. But for now, if you are not ready to talk about it. I need you to believe me when I say: I love you to the moon and the stars, and I would walk the Nine Hell’s for you. We are here to listen, and we support you. We will not be mad at you.” Adaine said with a look of familial love on the surface of her eyes, but deep within her eyes was a fire. It burned like a thousand suns.

“Thank you, I don’t know how to explain how much that means to me. I’m not ready to tell you everything, because I haven’t entirely come to terms with what has happened myself. But, so help me god I will get there” he said wiping the tears from his eyes. He felt his stomach rumble, and Jason smile at him from the other side of the cafeteria.  _ What a weird fucking day _ . “I know this is a weird segway, but I forgot to pack lunch. Can I have people’s extras?” Everybody threw some part of their lunch to him, and he was reminded of how much they cared about him. Ragh gave him a chicken wing bigger than his head. 

“Also, anther weird segway. I have a date tonight, can anyone help me pick out an outfit?” He asked, as his friends erupted into screams of “Who is he?!?” “What time?” “Tell me everything!”

* * *

In the end, only Fabian was available after school to help him. 

“Thanks for helping me Fabian. I guess I was supposed to do this with my dad, but you know.” He said with a bittersweet smile.

“I am more than happy to help,” Fabian smiled with the same look. “I think he’s here. The Ball… I think he would be happy for you.”

“Me too.” Riz smiled, taking out the copy of the picture he kept of his father. It was always in his right front pocket.

They sat in a comfortable silence walking up the many stairs to the apartment.

* * *

“The Ball, I um, I’m sorry if it was anything that I said that made you feel like you couldn’t say anything-” Fabian had started while sitting on the couch.

Riz had nearly finished changing, and he swung the door of his bedroom open. Fabian held his breath looking at him,  _ No. I must be imagining that. _

“Fabian I told you at lunch, it wasn’t anything-”

“No, Riz. Listen to me, you are my best friend. I know you are more than capable of handling yourself. I heard you say that it was just your imagination, but it’s just.. Those fears usually have some basis in reality. You are my best friend, and I’m not afraid to say that! You mean the world to me and, If I wasn’t doing right by you-”

“Fabian, this is why I didn’t want to tell you in the first place! I didn’t want to upset you!” Riz felt an annoyed anger growing in him, and he knew it was rude and that Fabian was just trying to help.

“I’m not upset with your Riz! Riz, I care about you… a lot. I’m not asking for pity, or anything else like it. I don’t want you to worry that I am upset with you. That is so far from the truth, I just want you to know that I care about you, and that I need you to know that I trust you. That if I have done anything to lose even a shred of your trust, that I will do whatever it takes to earn it back. “ 

_ Gods, I need to get over this Fabian thing. _

“Fabian, can we talk later? I need to go in like 10 minutes and I haven’t even started my hair.”  _ Right now? He had to act like a gentlemen 10 fucking minutes before my date? _

He watched Fabian visibly deflate. “Of course, if you need anything tonight, please just let me know. Really.” He stood up and walked to the door, but before he left he turned back around. He smiled  _ that dumb fucking charming smile _ and said “By the way, The Ball. You look fantastic.”

_ Fucking fuck! I’m still in love with the bastard! _ Riz thought as he grumpily put himself together for a really big night

* * *

At the club, Riz had realized just how bored he was. There was a great DJ playing the perfect songs,and Riz was dancing with the perfect boy. It was dark and in the mood for a date, and Jason with his perfect clothes was dancing perfectly. 

But Riz was not perfect. His meager attempts at dancing, were met with Jason holding him tight and touching him. Riz didn’t like it. Other people kept brushing into him, and Riz felt his heart beat faster with each new bump.

“Hey, can we get out of here? I’m not really comforta-”

“Fuck yes!” jason shouted excitedly.

In the area right before the club, Jason and Riz stood. 

“Sorry, I’m kinda claustrophobic. I know! Bad quality in a rogue-” Riz babbled as Jason grasped him and picked him up off of the ground . He kept touching him and kissing his neck. Riz’s mind started to go to war. 

_ This is a date it is supposed to be like this- But you don’t want it to go like this- This is a perfect date, you’re just being a little bit-  _ **_This is NOT what I want, I don’t care if it’s perfect!_ **

“STOP!” Riz shouted, pushing himself off of Jason. “Listen, I am not ready for that. This is my first relationship. I like you, I like you a lot, but if we are going to make this work, I need to go slowly.”

“Come on, Riz. We’re having fun-”

“No, Jason you are. I’m not. I don’t like clubs. I don’t like to dance. I’m not ready to kiss, nevermind go further. I’m not perfect, and if you can’t accept that,I don’t think this is going to work out. 

“You bitchy goblins-” Before Riz could think he punched Jason in the nose and sprinted out the door. It was raining, but he barely noticed it. He kept running till he didn’t know where he was. And he just screamed. A scream from the bottom of his stomach, and he just puked.

Panicking, realizing he was not in a good neighborhood, he called Faban. He debated it once he remembered their mini fight,  _ I still really care about you _ and  _ You can always steal a ride on the Hangman _ rang in his head. Before he knew it, he was on the phone sobbing. “Fabian, I have no idea where I am, and it’s late, and I’m wet,and things were so shitity, please find me. I just want to go home.”

* * *

Eventually and eternity of ten minutes passed, and Riz saw Fabian and Hangman in front of him.

“Sorry it took me so long. I had trouble finding you, but I’m here.” Fabian said with a sort of shame on his face. Fabian took off his letterman jacket, and wrapped it around Riz. Riz started to cry harder, it was warm and felt like home.  _ He’s doing this as a friend. He won’t like you the way you like him. You need to move on Riz. _

“Thank you Fabian.” Was all Riz could produce, and he clung to Fabian for dear life as they sped off to Strongtower Luxury Apartments.

* * *

“Forgive me, if you don’t want to talk about it, but may I ask what happened?” Fabian asked him once they got to the warm dry parking garage bus stop. It had one of those little heater towers. Riz hadn’t wanted to go inside yet, and he really wasn’t ready to be alone.  _ Just a few more minutes with Fabian. _

“It’s okay. Um, it’s stupid.” Riz said sheepishly.

“The Ball, I know you are tired of hearing it, but if it made you this upset, but it cannot be stupid.”

“Jason, he wanted to… do stuff. I’m not really ready for that. Especially with all that stuff going on.”

A look Riz couldn’t quite read passed Faban’s face. “The Bal- Riz. I am truly sorry. You deserve better than that. I’m sorry if this ruins everything, and if you aren’t in the mood just stop me but-” Riz watched him take a deep breath, and close his eyes. He looked nervous. “Riz Gukgak, I love you. I am in love with you. For quite some time, I have been truly and madly in love with you.”

Riz just breathed in, unsure of what to do with this information, besides spiral.  _ This has been a  _ **_weird_ ** _ fucking day. _

“ Riz I love you so much, I know I don’t deserve you. I want to be better for you.”

His imperfect rambles made Riz’s heart flutter. “This has been an exhausting day, and I need to get out of these clothes. But Fabian Aramais Seacaster, I am deeply, and truly, and madly in love with you. I still want to take things slow, but right now I need to go to sleep.”

“Of course. Take as much time as you need.” Fabian smiled, knowing he wasn’t the only one feeling it. They just stared at each other, like the other held the whole world in his eyes.

“How’s tomorrow at 4? Basrar’s?” Riz suggested.

“I would love that.”

“Sounds like a plan.” Riz leaned on the hangman to give Fabian a kiss on the cheek before heading inside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me literally steal a passage or two from my actual diary from 4 years ago to write this? Ridiculous, how dare you accuse me of such slander.   
> My plan is a mini chapter which should be up later today, but we will see.   
> As always this story runs on comments and kudos. I'm sorry I haven't really been responding to comments, I've been focused on getting the chapters up. Just know that I love all of them, and they make my day.   
> You can come chill with me on tumblr @darn-it-username-taken


	8. Chapter 7.5: Gorthalax Interlude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gorthalaz and Riz talk

Riz walked into the apartment breathless and in a swirl of emotions.  _ Was that real? He loves me? He really loves me!  _

He was taken out of his own head when he heard Gorthalax say “Sorry kid. Your mom called me, told me to make sure you were holding up. Y’know after the whole stomach thing.” He was baking a cake. Riz would never get used to the fact that a baking demon would randomly show up to his home. But, he could also not forget what he saw in the gym. His rational thoughts continued to abandon him, and his worst insecurities ran wild.  _ Remember, he knows. He will abandon you. His loyalties lie with his coworker, his friend.  _ “Kid, I knew you were going out. Word travels ‘round school fast, y’know how it is. I didn’t tell your mom, I knew it wasn’t my place. I just wanted to make sure you came home safe.”

_ This is a weird fucking day _ . Was all Riz’s mind could come up with. “Listen, Gorthalax, we can do the whole emotional talk in exactly 15 minutes. I have had a deeply weird night. I need to change and take a shower before I get sick.”

Gorthalax laughed, and said, “Sure, come out here when you’re ready. I’ll give you some cake.”

___ 

Riz thought about a lot in the shower. Between his anger at Jason, his euphoric disbelief at Fabian and his confession, coming out to all of those closest to him, finally telling someone what was happening with Doronur, realizing Gorthalax probably knew, and realizing if he told his mom it would ruin her first real relationship in years. All he could do was cry. They were not tears of happiness nor sadness, just a gut reaction to just how  _ much _ had happened. He had emotional whiplash. 

He compartmentalized. He put away all of the things that had already happened, and decided to focus on what he needed to do. He didn’t want to tell his mother and ruin her relationship. But he couldn’t wave what she said last night.

_ I need you to trust me  _

_ Riz Gukgak, there is not a thing in this world you can’t tell me. If we don’t have each other, who do we have? _

_ I don’t want you to feel like you need to hide yourself from me. I am always here for you. _

He decided to tell her. Maybe Gorthalax really didn’t know. Maybe it really was just the worst parts of his brain yelling at him. He was wrong about his friends, what was stopping him from being wrong about this.

____

“You wanted one emotional talk?” Riz asked, having changed into the matching lizard pajama set and socks Adaine had bought for him. She always called him Rizard when they were fake arguing. She ahd also helped him pick out flannels from the mall, as they decided that was the perfect mix between normal clothes and detective clothes.

“Yeah, kid. I just wanted to talk to you about your mom. I really love her, and I really love you. But, I can still tell you’re mad at me. I get it, don’t worry. I just wanted to remind you I’m not trying to replace your dad. I would never, I knew Pok. He was a good man, and I can only imagine hwo he was as a dad.” Riz was taken aback. He hadn’t realized Gorthalax and his father had ever met, never mind that they knew each other.

“Don’t worry. I know you aren’t trying to be my dad. No one can. I miss him every god damn day. If I thought you were trying to replace him, you would know.” Riz did his best to be threatening, but he was very aware he was a 16 year old goblin in a lizard pajama set threatening a Prince of the Nine Hells. “I like you. However, remember I shit out the last guy to cross my parents.” Riz said narrowing his eyes.

Gorthalax nodded solemnly, like they were both unaware of how ridiculous this scene was. 

“Message received, kid.” He said placing a cake slice at the small boy. Riz tried to eat the cake menacingly, but just smiled because it was really good. “I love you, kid.” He siad ruffling his hair.

_ Don’t call me that. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just thought naratively it would be better to end things where they did last chapter, but I still needed this chapter for future chapters, so welcome to the interlude. The next few chapters will be quite long, so dont expect updates as fast as usual, but I am working on them.  
> Comments and kudos please.   
> check me out @darn-it-username-taken on tumblr


	9. Chapter 8: Warning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey so this has been kinda dark the whole way through, but like I’m warning you, this is the chapter where shit hits the fan. Again no graphic descriptions of any specific acts of violence, but the subsequent fall out of such violence. You know yourself the best, take care while reading. Be kind to yourself. No piece of media is worth your health. The national sexual assault hotline is 1-800-656-4673.

Riz woke up in a cold sweat from a nightmare. Not exactly unsurprising, it was how he woke up almost everyday for the last month and a half. He looked at his alarm clock to see whether he would be able to go back to sleep, or if it was better to just try to shower it off and drink some coffee.   
**6:59** ****

_Shit. My alarm is about to ring._ So he grumbled and got out of bed, looking through his drawers for his favorite flannel, the cozy one. It was when he looked at the picture of him and Fabian on his wall, that he remembered. _He loves me. He really loves me. Not in the way I love Adaine or Fig. Not in the way I love Gorgug or Ragh. No, he loves me, the way I love him._ And upon that lovely memory did he also remember, _I have a date tonight. I have a date with Fabian Aramais Seacaster, because he loves me. He wants a relationship._

Not even Riz’s own worst nightmares were taking over the true happiness he felt. 

Jawbone picked him up and he couldn’t take his mind off of Fabian. _I kissed him. I really kissed him._ Jawbone looked at him from the rearview mirror and just smirked. Like he knew, and Riz didn’t care if he did. He was going to shout it from the mountainsides, “Fabian loves me, and I love Fabian!”

He did not realize however, he had in fact said it quietly out loud.

“What?!” Kristen asked turning around for the passenger seat just staring at him.

“I thought your date was with Jason Excelsior?” Adaine asked raising an eyebrow.

“It was but that was a whole mess, he got really pissed when I told him I wasn’t ready for sex and he and talked shit about goblins. I punched him and ran off crying, so I called Fabian.” He said, still lovesick.

Riz couldn’t see Jawbone’s face, but it went through many different emotions, while trying to figure out where the hell to start with that statement “Sorry to hear that, kid.”

Riz cringed, he fucking hated it when people called him kid. If he told them to stop, they’d ask him why, and he couldn’t risk it.

“Thanks, but it’s okay. We were sitting at the bus stop since it was warm, but he told me I deserved better, and then he told me he loved me! So I told him I loved him, and now we have a date at Basrar’s!” Riz yelped in excitement. Kristen watched Jawbone continue to go on a journey, but she was too busy being excited for her friends. 

“OH MY GOD THAT’S FANTASTIC! HOLY SHIT, DUDE THAT’S AWESOME!” and“CONGRATULATIONS!” rang through the minivan.

Riz babbled in excitement with them.

“Congrats, kid. You boys deserve each other. Sounds like you had a long night, you know I’m always here if you need to talk.” 

Riz for once in his life, thought he might take up that offer. 

* * *

Riz and Fabian looked at each other before fighting. “Hey, so just so we’re clear, last night wasn’t just because you had a bad date and were sick right? Like you meant it? The Ball, you were serious?” Fabian asked worriedly. Like he had spent all night thinking about it.

“It was absolutely serious. Fabian, I am deeply, and truly, madly in love with you.” Riz said with a reassuring smile, taking his hand. He had quickly gotten dressed, feeling eyes on him.

“Cool. Cool. Cool. Yeah, I was just a little worried. I’m okay, I’m really looking forward to Basrar’s later!” Fabian said, squeezing the small hand in his. Riz pressed a small soft kiss into it.

“Me too. Remember, I really do love you.” Riz said softly, and he felt Fabian’s worry melt away.

“I love you, too.” 

* * *

Jason wasn’t in fighting, but Riz was more than a little relieved by that. He wasn’t ready for that awkward conversation. However, that meant he had to fight a much bigger, much scarier boys. _Why is this class even separated by gender, that’s like not even a real thing. What the fuck? Why is it more appropriate for me, a 4 foot 5 inch goblin to fight a 6 and a half foot Half Orc, but not say, a goblin girl. I’m writing to Aguefort about this!_

He lost miserably to his classmates, but he didn’t mind too much. He knew his mind was elsewhere.

Doronur had stayed mostly away from him, and Riz was fucking deligthed.

At the end of the period, Gorthalax came up to him before they got to the locker room.

“Hey Riz!” He called ,and RIz turned around. “Fig told me about you and Fabian, and I just wanted to say I’m really happy for you. You’re both really great kids.”

“Thanks, Gorthalax. I’m happy, too. Can I ask you a question?” Riz remembered their talk last night. He knew he’d never get his dad back, but Gorthalax was still there for him. Gorthalax smiled ear to ear, he was very clearly excited that he was willing to talk to him.

“Kid, ask me anything. I’m here to help!” Gorthalax couldn’t stop beaming.

“I really like Fabian, but he’s had a lot more… experience than me. And I’m really afraid that he’s not going to like me once he realizes I’m not quite ready for… stuff.” Riz said, realizing it wasn’t a question, but he thought Gorthalax would get the gist.

“Well, kid. Every relationship needs good communication, tell him how you feel. If he’s not willing to understand the pace you want to take things at, he’s not the boy for you.” Riz understood what he was saying, but it did little to calm his fears. “But, kid I’m gonna be honest with you, I picked you up from his house almost everyday over the summer. I see the way he looks at you. He loves you through and through. I’d bet my life that he’s willing to wait, and even if you never want to do… stuff, he’ll still be there. This isn’t that kind of love.” 

Riz finally calmed down, and he hugged Gorthalax. _There’s no way he knows about Doronur._ Whispered a part of Riz’s brain he forgot about. It was the nice good part. Riz couldn't see it, but Gorthalax started to tear up.

* * *

By the time Riz got into the locker room, lunch had started. He shot Fabian a quick message. 

**Riz: Hey sorry, talking to Gorthalax, I’m going to be late to lunch.**

Riz got his stuff together, and headed for the showers. 

**Fabian: Okay, I’ll save you a spot.**

**Fabian: Love you.**

**Fabian: Sorry if that’s clingy.**

**Fabian: Sorry if I’m bothering you.**

Riz laughed and responded.

**Riz: You could never bother me. I love you, too. Gotta go. I smell like a rat’s ass!**

**Fabian: Hot.**

**Fabian: Sorry, that was a joke.**

**Riz laughed at “Hot.”**

**Riz: It’s okay dude. We can talk about we’re comfortable with at Basrar’s.**

**Fabian: Thank you.**

Riz finally put his phone away. He started the water, and he got in. He felt someone’s eyes on him, so he started going quicker. _Just get out of here. Just get out of here. Just get out of here-_

He was interrupted by the feeling of a hand on his back and lips on his. He tried to forget the rest.

* * *

Riz just sat there, lying on the shower floor for what felt like forever. He forgot how long ago the water turned off. He felt nothing. Absolutely nothing. He just felt empty.

He did not know what he was doing. 

He got dressed. 

He grabbed his briefcase.

He walked home.

Home was a 2 and a half hour walk from school.

He did not notice.

He did not notice his cell phone ring,

He did not hear the cars honking as he walked into traffic.

He could barely see.

He walked into his apartment.

He locked the door. 

He put on the deadbolt.

He sat on the couch.

He curled his feet in, and stared.

He turned on the T.V.

He felt empty.

* * *

**4:30**

**Fabian: Hey has anyone seen Riz?**

**Adaine: I thought he was at Basrar’s with you? Didn’t you guys have a date?**

**Gorgug: You and Riz are dating? CONGRATULATIONS!**

**Balloons effect in use.**

**Fabian: Gorgug. he’s not here.**

**Kristen: That’s odd. He was really excited. I don’t think he’d just blow you off.**

**Fabian: I called him 4 times and he hasn’t picked up once. He always picks up first call.**

**Adaine: I’ll try him.**

**Fig: I’ll call Sklonda.**

**Gorgug: i’ll check his SnapMaps**

**Fabian: Riz has it turned off, he’s afraid someone will stalk him.**

**4:37**

**Adaine: Nothing, guys I’m really nervous.**

**Fabian: Me, too. He wasn’t at lunch.**

**Fig: Adaine and I can dimension door into his apartment. Fabian, call Sklonda. I couldn’t reach her. Kristen and Gorgug, try looking for him at school.**

* * *

Fig and Adaine arrived in Riz’s kitchen at 4:39. They saw him, sitting there silently. They knew something was wrong.

“Hey, Riz how are you doing?” Fig asked quietly. 

Adaine’s phone rang.

“ **Adaine, Sklonda got sent to Bastion City for a case. She says she kept trying to call Riz, but he never picked up. She called Gorthalax who was looking for him, but I called him and he said that couldn’t find him at the school** ” Fabian said worry lacing every syllable.

“He’s here, he doesn’t look hurt, he just looks, bad.” Adaine whispered.

“Is that Fabian?” Riz asked, speaking for the first time in hours.

“Do you want to talk to him?” Fig asked softly. He shook his head, he was so ashamed. He didn’t mean to blow him off. He ruined his chance. 

“Tell him, I'm sorry.” He said, as he began to cry. All the emotions he wasn’t feeling flooded him, and he couldn’t stop crying.

“Fabian, Riz says sorry.” She gave Fig a look and walked outside. 

**“Tell him I forgive him! Just tell me what’s going on! Should I go over there?!?”**

“In all honesty, I don’t know what happened. I don’t think any of us should be over here. I’m calling Jawbone.” Adaine said tears forming.

**“Okay, I’ll call Gorthalax tell him he’s with Jawbone at the apartment.”**

**Call ended.**

“Jawbone!” Adaine shouted as soon as he picked up.

“ **Yeah sweetheart?”**

“Fig and I are here at Riz’s apartment. His mom had to leave town. He's being weird. First he wouldn’t do anything and he was just staring at the TV. He wasn’t watching it just staring off into the distance, and-” She was rambling, feeling her anxiety reach her soul.

**“I’ll be right there.”**

“Wait, where are you? I’ll dimension door you!”

**“My office-”**

She was in his office before he could finish the sentence. She grabbed him, and dimension doored back to the apartment.

“Girls, I think maybe it’ll be best if you guys go home.” They nodded and walked out, worried but listening to him.

“Hey, Riz can you hear me?”

Riz slowly nodded.

“Can you talk to me?”

He shook his head.

“Do you want food?”

He nodded. He went to the pantry and got him chocolate. 

“Can you describe what it tastes like to me?”

Riz took a long time to say anything… 

“Sweet.”

Jawbone was happy, at least it was something.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Riz shook his head, but a quiet voice whispered, “Tomorrow. Period 4?”

Jawbone was relieved, that was a good sign. “Of course. Do you want me to change the channel? I can put in that disc of Murder She Wrote.” 

Riz nodded. As Jawbone sat down, Riz leaned on him, and he silently cried.

Jawbone combed his fingers through his hair, till he was asleep. He texted Sandralynn and Gilear asking if one of them could drop off the car at Strongtower.

**Gilear: K.**

**Gilear: It’s in spot 1209.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1-800-656-4673 is the national sexual assault hot line.  
> I am not a medical professional. I sincerely doubt this is what you're supposed to do. I have never been raped, and i do not know if this is what it is like. My personal experiences are not as serious. I apologize for any inaccuracies.  
> Things get significantly less sad from here, I promise. There will be one other really dark chapter, but I will put the warning on that chapter like I did this one.  
> Please leave a comment, I love to hear feedback.


	10. Chapter 9: It’s Never Too Late

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Riz and Ragh talk to Jawbone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are looking up! They are getting better, I promise sweet moments after that whump.

In the morning Riz woke up, before Jawbone. He knew he needed to shower, but as soon as he heard the water running he threw up. So, he took out the Axe Body Spray his mother had hid from him when he was still trying to be cool, and hoped it would cover up his stench. 

Jawbone was still sitting there, chunky sweater and all, just a little more tired and a little more ruffled.

“Hey, kid-” Jawbone started, but Riz literally puked before he could finish, and began to sob. 

“It’s okay k- Bud. You’ll be okay, I promise. You’re gonna be okay.” 

“I’m sorry, Jawbone. I shouldn’t have made you stay the night, I’m sorr-”

“Bud. I’m gonna stop you right there. I don’t need your apologies. You got nothin’ to be sorry for! If I wanted to leave, I woulda left. You’re a great ki- boy. I’m here for you, and that includes when things are bad. Do you wanna go to school?” Jawbone whispered softly while kneeling next to him. When he tried to give him a hug, Riz had flinched, so he just sat next to him.

Riz weighed his options. He was terrified of going to class and seeing  _ him _ , but he was more terrified of being alone. He couldn’t continue with this silence taking over his head.

“Can I go to school, but come by your office if I need?” Riz suggested, wiping the last of his tears.

“Of course. Like I said, I’m always here for you. Besides I don’t have any appointments today.”

* * *

When Riz got to school, he was greeted in the courtyard by Ragh. 

“Hey, Riz can I talk to you?” He asked with a nervous shyness, Riz was not used to seeing Ragh like this. He had dark circles under his eyes, and it was clear he had been crying. Riz could only nod.

They walked over to behind the stairs and bushes for some privacy. “I’ve been doing some thinking, and uh that person you were talking about at lunch the other day, that was Coach Doronur, right?”

“What- no- No! How do you- NO!” Riz scrambled, his voice becoming louder.

“He was really nice when you first met him, right? Gave you compliments, made you feel good, right? But something felt off, but you thought you were going crazy? No one would get it? Everybody loved him so gods damned much. As things got more intense you felt like it was your fault. First it was for even thinking something was wrong in the first place, then it was because you had waited too long to say something, then it was because you deserved it-” Riz interrupted Ragh by punching him in the stomach. This would have been a greater distraction if Riz was not small, even for a goblin, and Ragh was not huge, even for a Half-Orc.

Ragh continued, “Things kept escalating and before you knew it, things were bad. Really  _ really  _ bad.”

Riz was crying, all he could do was whisper, “how...”

“You felt like- No. I, I had nobody. I couldn’t tell anybody, my mom, but she had enough to worry about. Well, you have that too, but I didn’t have any friends. I had Dayne and Penelope and Daybreak. Doronur told me, that if I told anybody, he’d tell Daybreak. If he told Daybreak, my  _ life _ was  _ over _ . Dude, I had nobody. I felt alone, and worse I was alone.” Ragh stopped for a breath. It was clearly the first time he was telling anybody this. Riz stopped being confused, and the tears had slowed. “Riz, you aren’t alone. You’ve got a lot of people who are here with you. He can’t blackmail you, because if he told anybody you cared about what happened, they’d beat the shit out of him.”

“Ragh, I’m so sorry. I never knew, I-” Riz stood in shock.

“Yeah, it was kinda the point.” Ragh said laughing a little. “Listen, I am so  _ so  _ sorry. If I had said something, this wouldn’t have happened to you. I can’t turn back time. It’s too late for me. I will regret that forever. But listen to me, I can only tell you this, if things have gotten really  _ really _ bad, don’t go back. Take the F. Become a wizard or a cleric. I cannot save you from what has already happened, and that will haunt me, but  _ trust me. Do. Not. Go. Back. _ ” Ragh said without threat, but with a pained memory. To anyone with empathy, it was more terrifying than any threat he could make. The bell rang, and he walked off to class.

Riz stood there, breathing, remembering where he was.  _ I’m at school, in a bush. I am fine. This is fine. I am not fine. _

He walked slowly to Ms. Klovnik’s classroom, fully crying. He walked in 10 minutes late, with no attempt to hide the tears streaming down his face. They were taking a test. He had a test.

“Hey, Riz, kid what’s wrong?” She asked, worry plastered on her face. He puked, and got some on her wheelchair.

“I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry Ms. Klovnik, it’s just-”

“Let’s go outside,” She said calmly taking his hand and they were out in the hall as he sobbed. “What’s going on? You’ve seemed a little off recently, and when you cut class yesterday, I won’t lie I was worried.”

“Ms. Klovnik, I’m so sorry. He kept touching me, but I didn’t want to tell anybody, because everybody liked him. He was everybody’s favorite teacher I-he kissed me, and I didn’t know what to do, and he came into the shower and then he-” Riz’s breathing shortened and he continued to panic and sob. 

“Hold up. Riz first off, let’s take a deep breath in,” She motioned with her hands up, and Riz closed his eyes and took a deep breath in, “and out” 

He calmed down a little, still hiccuping.

“Okay so first off, don’t apologize. Clearly things are a lot, and you come first. It doesn’t matter if you come to class, if you are just going to make yourself worse. And clearly there’s bigger fish to fry,” She took a deep breath in. “Now you said it was a teacher who kissed you?” If Riz could see past his tears he would see a fury only barely contained. Riz could only nod.

“I think we need to talk to Jawbone.” She said quietly and forcefully. It was the restrained rage, parents have when they find out someone had been messing with their kids. Riz nodded emphatically eager to see Jawbone. “Hey, Porter! Can you watch my class for me?”

“Sure, what’s going on?” He asked.

“Walking a student to Jawbone. They have a test, make sure they don’t cheat. Actually, just make sure the assholes don’t murder each other.” Ms. Klovnik said rolling with Riz at a calm slow pace through the school. Porter nodded solemnly and walked into class, it was not exactly an easy task at this school.

“I’m sorry, Ms. Klovnik. I’m being stupid-” Riz cried through the quiet hallway.

“Listen, k-Riz, this clearly isn’t stupid. This is actually, quite literally the opposite. Listen, I  _ know  _ this is a hard thing to talk about. Calling it stupid makes it really easy to  _ not _ talk about. ‘Stupid’ is just about the greatest excuse to avoid our reality, that’s ever been  created . Well that and ‘too late’. Talking about difficult things is just about the most important thing we as people can do.” as she said that, Riz took out his crystal. 

**Riz: It’s not too late.**

**Riz: It’s never too late.**

**Riz: Meet me at Jawbone’s office.**

**____**

Riz sat on the couch of Jawbone’s office, his legs curled into his chest. He had just finished describing everything that had happened over the last two and a half months. He had gone through a box and a half of tissues.

“Well, that was, quite a lot.” Jawbone said, almost stunned. To make matters worse Ragh burst in just then. “Ragh, I promise we can talk later, but I really need to talk with another student-”

“No, Jawbone, I’m with Riz. Doronur did the same thing to me my freshmen year.” Ragh panted. He had run here straight from Barbarian class, it was either that or he was a new sort of sweaty.

“Okay, well, sit down I guess.” Jawbone said as he was looking for what to say. “Boys, I really don’t know where to start. I guess, Ragh can you give me your version of events?”

Ragh nodded. “In Freshman year I was placed in Doronur’s gym class. Things started off really good. He was always complimenting me, I felt like I was on top of the world. But I knew things were a little weird, he was always touching me. But I never had a dad, I just thought that's how male adults were, like, supposed to be. It kept getting worse, he started touching my ass, but by that point things had gone on for a long time. I thought it was too late to say anything. That since I didn’t say anything people thought I wanted it. So I didn’t. Then…” Ragh said feeling the tears well up. He had forced himself not to think about this for a very long time.

“Ragh, this is a safe place, you can tell me anything, I promise.” Jawbone said, handing him a brand new, very large box of tissues.

“Right. I was in the shower, and he, he, he r-raped me.” Ragh said, fully breaking down. “But, that wasn’t the worst of it. He kept doing it. I kept letting him, because he told me that he’d tell Dayne or Coach Daybreak if I told anybody. He told me he’d ruin my life, let anybody that wanted me in their party that I was a gay bitch. I didn’t say anything because I was terrified. But because I was a coward, people, people I  _ care about _ got hurt.”

“Well, first off, I need both of you to know this wasn’t your fault. Second, this took a lot of courage, both of you. Riz, you aren’t a coward because it took you a few months to tell somebody, and Ragh, you certainly aren’t a coward for taking a few years to get over his threats, come to terms with what happened and come forward. It takes some people years or even decades to accept what has happened to them, some people never do. Yeah, people got hurt in the time it took to get here, but think about how many people you have saved, after this point?”

Riz and Ragh looked at each other. They knew exactly how the other felt, and Riz hugged Ragh. And Ragh hugged him back, careful to make sure his hands weren’t by Doronur’s usual spots. 

“Bro, I’m really sorry I never told you sooner, I feel like I could have saved you from all this pain.” Ragh cried into him.

“No! Thank you for telling me when you did. I love you, it must've been really difficult. I can’t imagine how terrifying it was keeping it a secret all these years!” Riz cried back, holding tighter. “Also, completely real, I’m a little dick. I’m not sure if I would have believed you, and if I did, I wouldn't have done anything!”

“You’re right bro.” And they laughed, clinging to each other for dear life.

It was a weird sight, these comically different teenage boys were clinging to each other for dear life, and laughing. They knew that’s not how people talked, but it was how they talked. 

They held each other there for what felt like hours, but Jawbone cleared his throat. “I really hate to break up this sweet moment, but I am legally required to call your moms, and professor Aguefort.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shit, this really was a ‘wouldn’t it be funny if Riz puked during the video of birth?’ fic. I’m not kidding. The first chapter is like that, because that’s what it was.   
> Also, the moms are coming in and holy shit do I have plans.  
> Please leave a comment! I really appreciate them, and the only reason I was able to get 4 chapters up in 24 hours is because my classes don't start till Tuesday and your comments keep me motivated.  
> Also I have a VERY detailed outline.


	11. Chapter 10: The Sklonda Interlude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Detective Sklonda Gukgak has had a rough week, and will do anything to protect her son.

Sklonda Gukgak had a rough week. She knew something wasn’t quite right with her son. He had pulled out, stopped focusing on PI work which on the one hand was great, but it wasn’t because he was actually being a kid. Fig had told her he wasn’t really talking to them, which was absolutely terrifying. She knew her son better than any living creature on this plane, and he was keeping so much from her. She knew he wasn’t actually getting sick all those times, but maybe just maybe she could get the truth out of him if she took him to the doctor. She got him to open up a bit more, he came out! Which was great, but honestly she’d known for a while, and she knew that that wasn’t why he was so upset. That was an entirely different beast. She thought maybe it was bullying, but Ragh had kept beating up his bullies. He was going to tell her the next day, she could tell. Then his fucking childhood doctor turned out to be a god damn drug smuggler. So that was fun, she had to miss that window, and she didn’t know when, or if it would open again. 

To make matters worse, if they could get worse, she was whisked off to Bastion City for this stupid drug ring search.  _ It’s not like I’m the only detective in the goddam precinct!  _ Then, Riz wouldn’t answer her text or calls. Not a word.  **Then** she got a call saying he had stood up Fabian on their date, which was  _ What the fuck it’s been two days, what did I miss?!?  _ And then they told her he was fucking  **_missing!?!_ **

She got a text saying that, they found him, but he was in bad condition. When she said she had a family emergency, Angela told her that it was her choice to leave, but if she did not come back. So she was stuck here in this goddamn car with Eudora, Angela having run back home when she got a call from the FBI asking her if she was interested in a promotion.  _ No fucking loyalty. _

She was stuck in that car worrying her head off, when she got a call from Jawbone.

“Jawbone, thank gods! Tell me, what is up with Riz? Is he okay?” She said scrambling, Eudora gave her an annoyed look at her loud voice but she didn’t care.

**“Detective Gukgak-”**

Worry flooded Sklonda, that was not a good sign.

“Jawbone, we’re friends, come on, call me Sklonda-” She rambled, tears forming in her eyes.

**“Detective Gukgak, I never know how to have these conversations. What I’m about to say won’t be easy to hear-”**

She felt all that maternal worry built up in her chest, was her son dead? He couldn't be.

“Get to the goddamn point Jawbone.”

**“Detective Gukgak, I have your son and another student in my office. They came to me with concerns about a teacher’s behavior.”** She heard him take a breath, but she became a little less worried because at least he was alive.  **“Detective Gukgak, what they described to me was rape. I need you to get here as soon-”**

He was cut off because she dropped her phone and looked at her wizard partner. 

“Eudora, I promise I will take the fall, fuck you can tell them I fucking kidnapped you, but you are fucking dimension dooring me into the goddam Aguefort Adventureing Academy Guidance Counselor Office!”

Eudora had already heard everything over the phone, wrapped her arms around Sklonda and they were in Jawbone’s office.

“WHERE THE FUCK IS ARTHUR, JAWBONE!?!” She screamed. 

Arthur Aguefort stood in the corner, “Ah, yes, Mrs. Gukgak-”

She grabbed him by the tie and dragged him to the room next door, which happened to be his office.

**“Mrs. Gukgak you are choking me-”**

They heard things drop and a few things shatter from the room next door.

Eudora stood there awkwardly, she walked a little further into the office, and there was a seperate little room where Riz and Ragh sat staring, mouths agape. 

“Hey, Riz.” She waved . He waved back slowly. She walked back to the central room.

She heard the boys whisper,

**“Bro is your mom a barbarian?”**

**“No, she’s a rogue!”**

**“Dude, there’s no way she’s not a barbarian, she totally just went into a rage.”**

**“No, dude I swear, she’s just like that.”**

**“Dude, no offence but you’re mom is fucking terrifying. I love it.”**

**“Me too.”**

She laughed to herself a little. Sklonda really was absolutely  _ terrifying _ .

‘“Mr. O'Shaughnessy, as a police officer I have a few questions for you.”

“Umm, sure,” He said still a little unclear of the last 30 seconds.

“Who did this?” She asked curtly, taking out a pad of paper.

“Coach Lustrik Doronur,” He said getting his bearings again.

“Where would he be right now?”

“Um, well I guess they gym-” 

She dimension doored out of the office. 

* * *

“Hello my name is Detective Eudora Shadowmend. I’m looking for Lustrik Doronur.” She said as soon as she landed.

“Hey, Eudora,-” Gorthalax smiled confused as to why she was there, but she repeated herself not getting distracted.

“Lustrik Doronur. Where is he.” She demanded. She watched a half orc try to sneak off, and Gorthalax pointed to him. Before he could sneak off she sprinted and wrestled him to the ground. “Lustrik Doronur, you have the right to remain silent…”

She continued reading his rights, as she walked him to Aguefort’s office as the whole gym stared in silence.

* * *

Back in Aguefort’s office Sklonda had locked the door.

“WHAT THE FUCK?” She shouted and pushed him into his desk, several things falling, and a few shattering.

“IF I HAD KNOWN I WOULD HAVE KILLED HIM MYSELF! I HAD NO IDEA” 

“You better not have! After all the shit I have helped you with at the precinct?” She said threateningly.

“Sklonda, I’m so sorry!”

“Sorry? You’re fucking sorry?” She said fury coursing through her veins. As she was getting ready to attack him, one Mrs. Barkrock walked in.

“AGUEFORT!!” She bellowed, she was clearly in a great amount of pain even walking.

“Are you Ragh’s mom?” Sklonda asked politely, but still angry so the other woman knew they were on the same page.

“Yes, I’m Lydia. Sklonda was it?” She smiled, the same well contained anger. Sklonda nodded, and they looked back at Aguefort.

“Ladies, I swear, I had no idea that this was going on! If I had, things could have been very different!” He yelped. “I promise I will take care of this man!”

As he was making desperate pleas, Eudora walked in with Doronur. 

“Hey, so Sklonda, I’m on my ‘lunch break’. I’ll be in the hall. You’re off the clock too, if you want.” She said with a sly smile, pushing him into the room.

Before Lydia or even Sklonda, could react Arthur did. His eyes glowed gold and he bellowed “RUIN WILL BE BROUGHT AGAINST YOUR HEAD NINE FOLD! YOU WILL SUFFER IN THE FIERY PITS OF HELL FOR EONS TO COME! YOU SHALL NEVER SET FOOT IN THIS INSTITUTION AGAIN!” 

Fire shot out of his hands and the three of them watched him burn. Sklonda thought of Riz. She was angry, and wanted him dead, but Riz deserved a chance at justice. He deserved to make the descion. He deserved to see him convicited. What happened there, happened ther. He deserved the choices that Doronur had taken from him. Sklonda punched Doronur in the throat, taking the fire damage, and grabbed Aguefort by the tie, and knocked his face into the desk.

“Arthur. Put. Him. Out.” She snarled.

“What? Sklonda, let’s kill him!” Lydia shouted.

“They deserve to take this motherfucker to court! Our sons deserve justice, real justice!” She shouted. 

“What happens if he’s not convicted?” Lydia was clearly doubtful.

“Then we kill him again.” Sklonda laughed at the thought, seeing the terror in this evil man’s eyes.

“Can the boys handle it?” She knew Ragh had gotten better, but a public trial? That was difficult on anybody.

“They deserve the chance to try” Sklonda said with such resolve, that it was clearly convinving her.

“I can’t afford it.” Lydia almost whispered, ashamed.

“Neither can I, but Arthur over here will pay for every goddamn cent. As well as any medical expenses, including therapy.” Sklonda smirked, looking solely at Aguefort.

“Mrs. Gukgak, I assure you I will pay for health care, but normally we don’t-” He said gasping.

“He will not only pay for everything, but he will also be a witness.” She continued on, she looked at him in the eyes. His nose bleeding and bruises on his forehead. “Or else, I will make sure every last crime he and this school is responsible is no longer ‘missing’” 

Arthur put out Doronur, who was screaming in pain. He did not heal him. 

“You’re medical and legal expenses will be covered as long as your sons shall live. I will go get Eudora.” He said walking off with Doronur, burns all over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't really sure about this chapter, but I hope you liked it. Please leave comments! I'm really excited about the next couple of chapters, they're all about healing.  
> Me trying to look up laws about being arrested: Wait this is my story, and 14 years old just get to murder anybody they want! Fuck this!


	12. Chapter 11: I thought I could protect you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Riz and Sklonda talk

It had been a  _ long _ week, and it was only Thursday. The detectives had taken Mrs. Barkrock and Ragh into a separate room than Sklonda and Riz, and had questioned all of them. They said they would call if they had any questions. Riz had said he was willing to go on the stand and press charges. From what Ragh and Lydia had said, so was he. 

Sklonda had picked up Chinese from their favorite restaurant, and they put in Murder She Wrote.

“So, long day, bud?” She said giving him a few takeout boxes.

“You could say that again...” He laughed. He looked down at his dumplings. He really didn’t know what to say. This was his mom, she had known him better than anybody else, they did everything together, but when things got serious, he completely avoided her. “Mom, I’m really sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. I trust you, it’s just…” 

“The weight of the secret was so all consuming, it didn’t matter who it was you just needed to keep surviving?” She looked at him with a pained look of familiarity.

“Yeah, how’d you know?” He asked confused, she stole the words he couldn’t quite form right out of his mouth.

“I know… Bud, I wasn’t always gonna be a rogue. I really liked music, I used to sing, act, dance, the whole nine yards. I was taking music lessons as a kid in Holborn. My teacher got me a few commercials, and I was climbing the ladder. I was doing really well, but he wasn’t a good man.” She took a deep breath. “My mom didn’t want me to be an actor. I was so stubborn, when things started getting weird I refused to tell her to prove a point. When things got really bad, I was so ashamed, that I just couldn’t. The words got stuck in my throat.”

Riz just sat, amazed at his mom, the way she said it calmly and quietly. Tears were forming in both their eyes, but this wasn’t a story foreign to his mom’s lips.

“I told her, and it was too late. We weren’t even able to take him to court. I was so distraught at never getting a chance at justice, I made some not great choices. I went to therapy, and I got my shit together. I decided to become a detective, help others find justice.” She smiled. “The pain still hurts, but I’ve managed. Only time to time. It was the most painful time in my life. But if I hadn’t become a detective, I never would’ve met your father. If I hadn’t met him, I never would have had you.” She moved some of his still wet bangs out of his face. She had run a bath for him when he reacted poorly to the shower. She had been saving some bath bombs for a day off, but she let him use an enchanted one that made water animals to distract him. It also scrubbed him clean. She put them on the shopping list, she figured it would be the only way to get him clean.

“Mom, why didn’t you tell me?” Riz said, not insulted but confused.

“Oh, buddy, I thought I could protect you if I never talked about it. Clearly, by not talking about it put you in more danger. I’m really sorry, I should have told you.” She said pulling him into a big hug. He was getting taller than her, but he was incredibly skinny, and he sat across her lap.

“It’s okay, it’s just nice to know I’m not alone.” Riz said quietly crying into her chest. “I just feel so  _ weak _ . I feel like dad would be upset with me for not saying anything sooner.” It was barely more than a whisper.

“Bud, I know how lonely it feels, but remember you gotta treat yourself the way you treat others. Was Ragh weak for taking a couple years to say something?” She questioned, she remembered her mom doing this with her a little less than a decade ago.

“Of course not, but-”

“Was I weak for not saying anything for a while?” She said with an arched eyebrow

“No! But-”

“Why are you weak for needing a couple months? What makes you so different from us?” She used her detective voice, and watched Riz nod solemnly, finally understanding. 

“I still feel like dad would be disappointed.” He was still ashamed, which she could understand. But she knew Pok. She saw the way he looked at his son. How he held him, how much he loved him. Pok had known that Riz was the best of the two of them. Sklonda wished more than anything Pok could see the man Riz was becoming.

“Riz, your father could never,  _ ever  _ be disappointed in you,” She promised, it was a fact, not to be debated or argued. “He believed that to do the right thing, especially if it was difficult was the bravest thing a person could do. You told someone! You did something about what happened, despite the pressure to say nothing! Bud, I know it’s hard, especially since you can’t know how many people you have protected by doing this.” 

“You think so?” he choked.

“I know so.” She gave him a kiss on the forehead.

“Mom, I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

“Mom, I still wanna go see dad on Sunday.” He whispered.

“Bud, I can take you. I’ll stay in the car if you wanna talk alone.” She had not noticed when she began to rock him. She felt so helpless, she remembered when he was small and she vowed to protect him, but all these years later she was powerless.

“I was supposed to go with Fabian. We were going to visit his dad.” Riz was clear that it was probably a date and they wanted to be alone. She was not entirely comfortable leaving him alone just yet.

“I’ll drive you two. I promise I won’t eavesdrop and I’ll just slowly follow you.” She said.

“This is the best offer I’m getting, right?” He asked laughing a little.

“You betcha bud!” She said hugging him tighter, laughing with him.

“I’ll take it. Thank you.” He had started to hear the same Murder She Wrote episode he’s heard a million times before. “Mom, we need a new series. We can recite the whole thing.”

“I’m gonna find a new dvd don’t worry.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That’s right it’s Thursday, the last 8 chapters have only been since fucking Tuesday. I am so excited about these chapters and I keep getting comments so I keep turning them out! Please keep commenting! Also the chapter ratio is off, and I haven’t entirely decided how to end it, but I think I’m going to have one more round of whump, but the next one is fluff.


	13. Chapter 12: I'm safe

Sklonda woke up from what she thought was a terrible dream, only to be reminded it was painfully real. She went to the fridge, and realized that there was literally nothing in there. The legal pad with the shopping list was now front and back. She knew she needed to go shopping, but knew she couldn’t leave Riz alone. If he was up to it she could let them have a sleepover, and maybe have one of the parent’s vaguely supervise.

She had more than enough sick days saved to take today off, but she still needed to do something about breakfast. She thought about Postmates-ing some bagels, but she didn’t have that kind of money. 

**9:45**

**Sklonda: Hey guys, I’m sure you heard what happened. If you didn’t Riz needs some time off of school, and I’m staying with him.**

**Slonda: I really can’t leave him alone, but he’s not ready to go out but I need to go shopping. I really hate to do this but if someone could drop off some food, I’d really appreciate it. I’ll pay you back.**

**9:46**

**Wilma: Oh Sklonda don’t worry about it! Gorgug told us what happened, we were just about to drop off casserole!**

**Digby: If you need anything at all, let us know!**

Sklonda, in all honesty got along best with the Thistlesprings. It’s not that she didn’t get along with the other parents, but they had always had her back.  _ They are also the least  _ **_insane_ ** _. _ She knew she was being judgy, but the groupchat were Wilma and Digby, Sandralynn, Jawbone, Gilear, Gorthalax, Halariel, and Cathilda. They all loved and supported their children, but it was the most awkward group of adults she had ever been around. Everyone was currently dating or previously dated or were married. 

Riz stirred awake, and Sklonda felt her heart calm down.

“Hey mom. I’m super hungry.” He stretched out, all tired, like he hadn;t yet remembered what had happened.

“The Thistlesprings are gonna drop off some food. I really need to go shopping.” She said rifling through the fridge. She opened a cupboard, there were no cups. She opened the dishwasher, which was also empty. She tried to make sure she wasn’t sounding judgemental, “Are you ready to be home alone?” 

“Not even a little bit.” He answered knowing he could be honest with her.

“Yeah, I figured. Are you ready to go out?” She suggested. He just shook his head. She wanted phrase her proposal perfectly and gently, “I was thinking… I don’t think you should stay holed up in here… but I get not being ready for out  _ there  _ just yet. Would you be willing to hear me out for a crazy idea?” Riz nodded.

“I  _ really  _ need to go shopping, for a lot of stuff, like Elm Valley Mall stuff. Riz, we are out of cups. How the hell did we lose all of our cups? Not the point. What if you had the party over? Wilma and Digby could just stay in my room to give you guys some privacy-”

“I’d really like that.” He cut her off, smiling. He missed his friends so much, and he just wanted to see them.

“Thank gods, I was really grasping at straws for that one.” She sighed, and he was able to laugh. She loved hearing that, she would do just about anything to make sure he laughed. He got up and went to his room, needing to get into a different set of pajamas.

Just as she was saying that, there was a knock on the door. The Thistlesprings were always so punctual it frightened her. It helped they were on the way already.

“Hey, Wilma.” She smiled, still exhausted.

“Hi, Sklonda. I’m so sorry to hear what happened,” Wilma said with a sympathetic hand on her shoulder. She gave her a very nice potato casserole.

“Thank you so much, I’m all out of- well just about everything.” She said taking it inside, inviting them in. Digby brought in 4 more, all of different flavors. 

“If you need anything- anything at all, just let us know. We are here to help!”

Digby said placing them down on the counter.

“Actually, I’m really sorry about this, but I really need to go out and go shopping tonight,” She lowered her voice and made sure Riz wasn’t listening. “He’s just not ready to be alone, and he can’t leave the house just yet. I think it could be good for him to have the party over, but I really need someone to watch them-”

“Sklonda, we’d be honored!” Wilma exclaimed.

“That you’d trust us-”

“After everything!”

She took a deep breath, the Thistlesprings always had her back. They were exhausting, but good people.

“Thanks guys, just give them some privacy, it’s been rough. I really can’t thank you enough. I know it’s weird to invite you over to my apartment when I won’t be here. I’m sorry-” Sklonda rambled rubbing her eyes, she looked around  _ the apartment’s a mess _ .

“Sklonda, you’ve got nothin’ to be sorry ‘bout!”

“We would love to!” 

They were chaotic, but they loved everybody so much it put her at ease.

“Perfect, would you mind coming over at like 5? I’ll order them pizzas, and stuff. I should be back by 10.” 

“Of course-”

“We’ll bring some desserts over!”

Sklonda sighed, he’d be fine.  _ He’ll be  _ **_fine_ ** . 

“We gotta head!”

“We’re doing some work at the hospital!”

* * *

**The Bad Parents**

**10:07**

**Sklonda: Riz needs some company and I need to go shopping. Wilma and Digby will be hosting a slumber party at my apartment at 5:30. If the kids could make it that would mean the world to him.**

**Cathilda: Of course Master Fabian will be there, I’ll drop off some kippers and snacks**

**Gilear: Fig can be there I just asked her.**

**Gilear: Has anyone ever thought of changing this groupchat’s name?**

**Sandralynn: I can drop off the girls. Is there anything you want me to pick up?**

**Sklonda: I’m good. I need to go shopping so if anyone has anyone has good coupons could you send them my way?**

Sklonda started to clean up the apartment and go through the circulars to find coupons for what she needed. She checked her phone,

**The Bad Parents: 41 new messages.**

**Sandralynn: I have a bunch for the Mushrooms and Stuff on Elm Valley**

**Digby: Why didn’t you say anything while we were there!**

**Wilma: We’ll give you the binder, you can look through it.**

**Gilear: I do have some, I’ll drop them off on the way back from work**

**Sklonda: Is it for anything besides yogurt?**

**Gilear: No**

**Sklonda: Riz is lactose intolerant, I’ll pass. Sorry.**

She started matching up coupons with her list, and she felt her shoulders relax, maybe this would be okay.

* * *

Riz sat in his room, he felt numb again. He was trying to look at his stuff and think about anything, but nothing could come. He desperately looked at the pictures of his father on his wall. He ran out of his room, when not even that could do anything.

“Mom can we watch TV together?” He shouted sitting down next to her. She was cutting through the circulars and watching the news.

“‘Course, pick what you want.” She continued to flip through, Sandralynn had been by so she had a lot.

Riz had found a really bad soap opera, but it was something.

Sklonda reminded herself he would be okay.  _ We are going to be okay. _

* * *

“Riz, honey, Fabian’s here!” His mother called, and Riz sprinted out of his room and jumped into Fabian’s arms. He hugged him tightly and wrapped his legs around his back. Fabian hugged him just as tightly. They were so caught up in their moment, they couldn't see Detective Gukgak go into her room to give them some privacy.

“Fabian, I’m so sorry! I swear I didn’t mean to stand you up-”

“Don’t be sorry! Are you okay?!”

“No” He whispered into the taller boys chest, clutching him tighter. Fabian walked them to the couch and put Riz down.

“The- Riz. I’m so sorry I never realized something was going on sooner. If I hadn’t made you take a level in fighting none of this would have happened.” Fabian hung his head in shame. He put a hand on Riz’s thigh, not in a suggestive way, just to remind him that he was here.

Riz’s brain however, went into fight or flight. He grabbed the plastic bag his mom had left out for him ‘just in case’ and puked.  _ Of course she was right. _

“I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have done that-” Fabian stood up, afraid of hurting him. He didn’t appear grossed out just guilty. Riz walked to the trash can and threw out the bag and grabbed the mouth wash his mom had put by the sink after the second time he had thrown up that day.

“I think we need to have that talk.” Riz said quietly, the silver haired boy sat down next to him. They both took a deep breath in. “Fabian, I still love you. I am in love with you. I really want to be your boyfriend, I just don’t want to hold you back-”

“Riz, you wouldn’t be holding me back!” Fabian blurted out quickly. Riz smiled, but just as fast Fabian blurted out “But I totally get it if you’re not ready for a relationship!”

“Fabian, I want to be your boyfriend, and I want you to be mine.” Riz was already tearing up, he was so afraid of how this was going to go. “I um, I really need to go  _ really _ slow. Especially now. I’m not ready for getting kisses in, and I don’t really do well with surprise touches.”

Fabian had also begun to cry, “Riz, I am willing to go however fast or slow you want. I love you, the brave, awesome, wonderful  _ you _ . Even if you’re never ready for… stuff, I still want to be with you.” Fabian said quietly. 

“Thank you Fabian. I really want to be with you.” He smiled taking Fabian’s hand. “So, are we boyfriends?”

“Boyfriends.” Fabian nodded. 

“Is it okay if I hug you?” Riz asked quietly.

“Please!” Fabian’s voice cracked and they clung to each other. They sat there for what felt like an eternity.

* * *

The Thistlesprings arrived and Sklonda headed out with their 4 inch binder of coupons. Before she left she took Wilma and Digby to the side, “You wouldn’t have happened to bring any security contraptions or say I don’t know-”

“Oh you caught us!” Digby laughed.

“In all seriousness we were going to install a brand new security system full of traps and the like, while you were out!” Wilma took out several very dangerous looking materials.

“If you could, that would be great, nothing too dangerous. I need-I wanna make sure he’s safe. I just...I can’t fail him again.” Sklonda quietly trembled. She took a deep breath and attempted to get her emotions back in line.

Wilma took her hands and whispered quietly, “Oh Sklonda! Don’t blame yourself! As mom’s we do our best to protect our kids, but as hard as it is to understand, things happen. We do what we can, and when someone hurts our children, we will  _ hurt them _ !” She said with the quiet fury of one thousand suns. Sklonda mouthed  _ Talk later. I have plans. _ And walked out the door.

That left the new couple, Gorgug, and his parents.

“I brought some movies!” Gorgug said pulling out a big binder of DVDs. He also brought Riz his nice hoodie, and a half-orc sized blanket. “Whenever I feel sad or unsafe I like to make myself into a blanket cocoon!” He said handing it to Riz who quickly burrowed himself in the blanket so only his face was exposed. It made him feel safe, and it was extremely soft.

“Thank you.” He said curling up.  _ My gods this is nice! _ “This is really nice! Holy shit, dude why is this so nice?” 

“My mom’s friend at the hospital gave it to her. It’s stitched with runes so it protects you and boosts your healing!” Gorgug’s eternal smile put Riz at ease, or maybe it was this blanket. “She got it for me after I went to Hell!”

“Mrs. Thistlespring-” Riz called from the blanket.

“Oh call me Wilma!” She laughed, looking around for him. “Oh my, dear I almost didn’t see you under there!”

“If you’re at the hospital anytime soon can you get me one of these blankets?” He smiled, the warmth was calming. He felt like himself, a feeling so foreign, yet so welcome.

“Of course! I’ll give it to you on Tuesday!” She smiled, and handed him pizza.

“Oh that’s okay, I’m not hungry-” Riz lied, he didn’t want to be anymore trouble than he already was, and he was worried he would throw it all up.

“Riz, I insist. You’re a growing boy!” She laughed heartily.

“Trust me, just say yes it’ll be easier.” Gorgug whispered.

“Oh now, Gorgug! Be nice to your mother!” Digby called from the kitchen, and Gorgug muttered an apology.

Fig, Adaine, and Kristen all walked in shortly afterwards with their sleeping bags. They all had board games, makeup, and other slumber party necessities. They walked in with smiles, but it was clear they were just barely hiding their worry. All of their loud chaotic energy had been stripped.

“Hey Riz how you doin’?” Fig asked awkwardly.

“Admittedly shitty,” Riz laughed softly. He looked around at the concerned faces of his friends. “But, better now that you’re all here.”

His voice was quiet, and void of his usual manic focus. Now, it seemed like he was doing his best to just remember where he was.

It was all he seemed like he wanted to say, and that was enough for all of them.

“Kiddos, don’t mind us we’ll just be over here workin’” Digby called giving them enough space to work.

* * *

“Okay so it’s  _ like _ spin the bottle, but instead of kissing we paint whoever it lands on’s nails with the color of the bottle we’re using!” Fig explained excitedly.

“Why don’t we just paint each other’s nails?” Gorgug asked confused.

“Where’s the fun in that?” Fig whined.

“It’s literally the same thing-” Adaine rolled her eyes, she was sitting in Fig’s lap.

“It’s not!” 

In the end, Fig lost. They all wanted their nails painted, except Riz, who was eager to watch, but was frankly unwilling to leave the blanket cocoon. Fabian and Fig had their nails painted black, Gorgug went with a forest green, Adaine and Kristen chose light blue.

“I’m good at this! Maybe I should be a nail tech!” Fig laughed holding Gorgug's claws in her hands.

“What? Quit music?” He asked worriedly, and she just shook her head.

“Don’t worry, I just like painting nails.” She shrugged.

“Well, you can always paint mine!” 

“Guys, let’s do something Riz can do too.” Adaine said blowing on her fresh manicure.

“Let’s play would you rather!” Kristen shouted excitedly, and Riz nodded smiling. “I’ll go first! Adaine would you rather be covered in fur or covered in scales?”

“Fur.” Adaine said without thinking and everyone stared at her for her quick response. “What? I’m  _ always  _ cold, I’d love to have some extra layers!”

They all nodded in understanding, “Okay, would you rather be a reverse centaur or a reverse merman?”

That sent the whole apartment into an eruption of horror, including Riz who was shouting, “NO! NO! HoW DiD YOu ThiNK OF THAT! ADAINE WHAT THE FUCK!” which if she was honest was the point, she wanted to see if Riz was still himself.

“I repeat, horsehead or fish head.” She said with a completely straight face.

“Horse I guess, what the fuck!” He shouted through fits of confused laughter. “Okay, okay, oh-kay, Gorgug, would you rather all your clothes be a little too small or a little too big-”

“Big. Absolutely bigger” He said with conviction. His friends started confue, and he whispered as to not alert his parents. “I don’t everything’s always just been a little too small at home. I just need some room, y’know?” They nodded, understanding. “Um, Riz, would you rather… become a detective like your mom… or be a spy like your dad!”

“Detective, without a doubt” Riz answered almost confused by Gorgon's question. “You do know I’m studying to  _ be _ a  _ detective  _ right?”

“Well yeah, but that was last year, and a lot of stuff has changed. I mean we’re 15, we aren’t married to our own futures, yknow? I wasn’t sure if maybe your plans had changed.” Gorgug shrugged.

“Too deep! Too deep!” Kristen shouted. “Adaine would you rather write the most important book in the past 200 years, but you and the book will only be appreciated after your death or be the most famous erotica writer of your generation?” Adaine looked horrified, but everyone was snickering.

“Kristen, I’m the oracle. My one job in life is to write important books to be read after I die.” Adaine rolled her eyes at her friends. “Let’s play a different game!”

* * *

They managed to make it through a movie, some card games, but half way through the second movie everyone was dead asleep. Only Wilma and Digby were awake. Wilma was on the phone outside, but Digby was watching over the kids. He remembered when Gorgug first brought them home. It had been such a long time since then. He knew their lives would be full of danger, he just always imagined that it would because of things like adventure. 

Riz had stirred awake, another nightmare, he looked around, to see where he was. He saw the sleeping face of Fabian,  _ my boyfriend _ . Adaine and Fig were on the floor next to him, he saw Gorgug curled up on the other side, and Kristen was snoring face up and drooling. Digby waved to him, and he took a deep breath in.  _ Safe. I’m safe. I’m safe. _ He was lulled back to sleep by the promise of safety, and the warm loving aura filling the apartment.   
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I totally headcanon that The Thistlesprings are like extreme couponers, the kind where the store owes them money. Sandralynn has the standard amount for moms. Gilear has a TON, mainly to places with the best yogurt.  
> Credit for the would you rather questions goes to https://conversationstartersworld.com/would-you-rather-questions/  
> Also, I have decided to end it early. There will be one more chapter, an epilogue, and a sequel. It is just too emotionally difficult to write. The sequel is only kind of a sequel it can kind of be read by itself. As well I’m going to start writing happy D20 one shots, because this is just putting me back in a bad headspace.   
> If you were interested in the alternate ending, you can message me @darn-it-username-taken on tumblr. I’ll either post the outline or make one of those mini fic posts where it’s bulleted. I just can’t keep doing this.


	14. Chapter 13: A talk at the grave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last full chapter! Fabian and Riz's first date, at the cemetary. Sklonda makes a confession.

The next morning, after everyone had left Fabian, Riz, and Sklonda were sitting in the car on the way to the Cravencroft Cemetery. Sklonda was playing _My Favorite Murder_ , which was his favorite podcast. He was barely reacting, but she hoped it would remind him of the things he liked. The boys were in the backseat, and Riz was just looking out the window. He would answer a question when asked, but his usual constant chitter-chattering was gone.

“So Fabian, where is your dad? I just need to know what entrance I’m going to.” She thought maybe talking to Fabian would be a better bet.

“The eastern gate. He always sailed the east winds.” Fabian smiled sadly.

“You got it. How’s your mom doing?” She figured that might get him to talk.

“She’s doing fine, she’s been sober for 8 months now. She and _Gilear_ have been dating for a while. He’s living with us.” He tried to be polite and contain his rage, but he could tell she was annoyed with Gilear as well. 

“Gilear is… nice.” She managed to come up with. Riz turned to her in interest. 

“Mom, whatever happened with that? You guys had dated and then all of a sudden he said you were ‘too much woman for me to handle’” Riz said doing his best Gilear impression which caused the whole car to burst out laughing.

“Riz, do not say we dated. It was one date. It was… it happened.” She said remembering that night, it was frankly a mess.

“Detective Gukgak, _please_ tell me what happened.” Fabian pleaded with a wild glee in his eye.

“He showed up in a stained hawaiian shirt and cargo shorts.” SHe sighed, it had been her first first date in almost a decade and frankly, it was not off to a great start. The boys were giggling in the back. “He asked the waiter if they served yogurt.”

They had begun to scream in laughter, an ashamed blush crossed her cheeks. 

“Where did you go?” Riz howled. 

“Listen! I get it! We’re both parents we don’t have a ton of money to spend-” She defended, but the boys pressed on. She was incredibly ashamed, “It was a Domino's...”

“MOM!”  
“MRS.GUKGAK!” 

The screamed in physical tears. “You’re first date, after the sauve secret agent husband, was with Gilear at DoMiNOES!” Riz cried.

“Listen, I’m not a young woman! I didn’t know if someone would want-”

She shrugged, kind of faking her insecurity but it was true. She had been concerned for a considerable time, that nobody would ever love her again. She missed Pok, but by gods she still had a whole life ahead of her. 

“BULL. SHIT!” Riz shouted. “You’re a hot detective! You can get a date!”

“Mrs. Gukgak we are not laughing because you couldn’t do better!” Fabian tried to control his laughs to be serious, but failing miserably. “It’s funny because you are _waaaaay_ too good for Gilear! Just use Tindr or something!” 

“Okay boys, this has been fun. I’m cutting this off here!” She said, but her smile betrayed her.

“So, Fabian, do you promise to take me someplace better than Dominoes?” Riz laughed batting his eyelashes.

“The Ball, you couldn’t pay me to take you on a date to DOMINOES!” He shouted. 

_When the fuck did that happen?_ Sklonda thought.

“My god, Dominoes. Mrs. Gukgak, I’m never getting over that."

* * *

Riz and Fabian stood at the tomb containing the remains of whatever they could find of Bill Seacaster. It was significantly more ornate than Riz’s dad. It was decorated with carvings of the tale of **Bill Seacaster The Best Pirate in a Generation**.

“Father, I don’t know how the Nine Hells work, or if you could hear me. I just-” Fabian took a deep breath in. “Papa this is my boyfriend. Riz Gukgak. I-I love him.” Fabian stared into the golden statue of his father.

“Hi, Captain Seacaster!” Riz waved.

“You’ve met him!” Fabian shouted excitedly. He stared at the statue, silently.

“Fabian, if you need a minute alone, I’ll just be… in the car with my mom.” He said patting Fabian on the hand.

* * *

“So, Fabian.” His mom had asked him in a mostly quiet car.

“... Yeah. Is that, okay with you?” He asked nervously. He didn’t know what he’d do if she wasn’t. 

“Bud, I’m just glad you two stopped dancing around each other.” She tapped her finger. His mouth dropped.

“You knew?” He thought over last year and tried to figure out what it could have been. 

“Bud, I shut down a betting ring trying to see when you’d get together.” She laughed to herself remembering Gilear and Gorthalax’s face when she found out.

He just silently nodded.

“Riz. I’m really happy for you. I really, really am. Fabian’s a good boy, and I trust him…” She took a deep breath in, she needed him to believe her. “Riz, I _need_ you to trust me. I thought giving you your space, you’d come to me. I want to hear about the good stuff! I love it when you come home and tell me you aced a test, or you did well in f- class. I liked it when you told me how Ms. Klovnik was doing!” Riz looked at her ashamed.

“I like hearing about the good, but I really like it when you tell me about the bad. If you want me to trust you, you need to trust me. So, when you get home from your first date, let me know, and we are going to talk about it?” Riz smiled and nodded, tears in his eyes. _How could i have been so stupid, not to tell her. God, if I told her, none of this would have happened, it’s all my fault-_

“Hey bud, I can hear you thinking.” She laughed. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before. If I had, this wouldn’t have happened. It’s all my fault.” He sniffled.

“Well, I’m gonna stop you right there. First off, none of what happened was at all your fault. Do not blame yourself.” She looked at him in the eyes. He was unsure if she was shrinking or he was growing because he was just as tall as her now. “Second off, bud, are there things that we wish could have gone differently?Yeah but, if we keep dwelling on them, we will never focus on what lies ahead. We can’t go back and change it, but let’s just remember that we will always have each other.”

He threw his arms around his mom, and sobbed into her chest. She held him like she had so many many other times when he was a kid. She whispered calmly in his ear, reminding him of her love.

* * *

Fabian and Riz sat down in front of Pok Gukgak’s grave. It was small and plain, compared to Seacaster’s. 

“Hi dad. It’s me, Riz.” He smiled, he put a hand on Fabian’s shoulder. “This is my friend, Fabian.”

“Hello, Mr. Gukgak. It’s nice to meet you.” He said with ease. Riz was so worried that when he fell in love, his love would think it was weird to talk to a grave. But Fabian didn’t think it was weird, he understood wholly and completely. Just like he had everything with Riz.

“I’m in love with him. We are dating.” Fabian just smiled at his boyfriend.

“Can I hold your hand?” He whispered, almost as if he was trying to keep it from the grave, and Riz nodded. 

“Dad, a lot has happened recently. I-I was so worried that you would think less of me, for… what happened. You’re a secret agent who protected the world! I couldn’t protect myself. But I talked to mom, she told me you’d be proud of me. Gods, I hope that’s true, because I’m really not proud of me right now.” Riz rested his head on Fabian shoulder, he was already tearing up, and Fabian was doing his best not to. “Dad, I really really miss you. I want to ask you so many things. I don’t know how to be a teenage boy. You were supposed to teach me how. I’m finding my way, but I’m still so lost. I just need your help.”

Riz waited for a response he knew would never come. But he and Fabian sat there, holding hands, looking at the small stone in front of them. A strange feeling passed through Riz, and he heard a familiar voice in the back of his mind

_I love you. I am always proud of you. I have so much to say. Talk to your friend Kristen about her new god. We can figure this out. Riz, you have a future so bright it can be blinding. Never forget that I love you._

Riz smiled, and headed back to the car, with the love of his life. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My Favorite Murder is a real podcast that is quite enjoyable. I changed it from olive grounds to dominoes, I didn't think my point was coming across as I intended. That's my bad. This is not the end of the series, there’s still a short epilogue to come. The sequel series will be about Kristen and Adaine using their magic to be able to bring back Pok for about an hour at a time. As well there will be a one shot that is exclusively Fabian’s monologue to his dad’s grave.  
> This has meant a lot to me, I will be putting that in the finale's notes.


	15. Chapter 15: An Epilogue (It's Done)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Many months later, Riz is back in the gym at prom. He feels some stuff, and remembers his family.

It had been a really long time since Riz had been in here. His mother and Aguefort had reached a (legal) agreement that was long and complicated and Riz didn’t know too much about it. He knew they could now afford their groceries, therapy, medical expenses, and all those little things that had been helping him recover. He also knew that he did not have to take anymore gym or fighting classes. 

He never ended up taking the stand, and neither did Ragh. No, the state had reached a plea deal with Doronur. He was facing 40 years in prison, but he had an opportunity for parole in 10. It frightened him, but he had tried not to dwell on a possibility so far in the future. 

However, in this place it was quite overwhelming. But, here he stood with the love of his life, his  _ boyfriend _ , under the lights of the gymnasium. He still felt those memories course through him, but he no longer felt like he was drowning in them. 

He saw Adaine and Fig wave to him, smiling and dancing softly together. Gorgug and Zelda were talking shyly in the corner, but Gorgug gave him a nod. Kristen had taken Tracker with her, and they were making out in the corner. Riz doubted they would notice if the world would end.

He tried to remind himself his friends were here, that they wouldn’t let anything happen to him. He was going to be alright.  _ I really am okay. This is okay. _

“You know, we don’t have to stay. If it’s too much we can leave.” Fabian squeezed his hand. What could Riz even say about that. Fabian always knew when to make him laugh, and when to let him be sad. He understood when Riz asked to be alone, but saw through him when he was just trying to push everyone away. They were not a perfect couple. And Fabian is not perfect, but neither was Riz. They were not a perfect match, no they were a good team. They didn’t complete each other, they just talked to each other enough to truly  _ know _ the other. Riz could not be happier.

“Thank you. I might need to take you up on that later, but for right now I just want to dance with you.” Riz said taking his boyfriend’s hand and dragging him onto the dance floor. They held each other tightly. From the corner of his eye he saw his mother and Gorthalax.

He quickly remembered his conversation with Gorthalax after everything had happened.

He had apologized so profusely, he blamed himself for not realizing anything before. Riz was just happy he was believed at all.

But now, now he could just focus on how much he loved this moment.

* * *

From outside the gymnasium of the Aguefort Adventuring Academy, Detective Sklonda Gukgak received a phone call.

**“It’s done.”** The small high pitched voice on the other line said.

“I can’t thank you enough”

**“Don’t. Get rid of this phone, and forget you ever knew us. We don’t usually work with the pigs, but well, let’s just say your piglet’s an old friend.”**

“Of course.” 

When she hung up the burner crystal she placed it on the ground. Gorthalax cast fireball and they watched the crystal melt. He kissed her on the forehead and they walked back inside. The Thistlesprings met up with them in the corner.

“Is it done?” Digby asked quietly. Sklonda nodded. They all looked at each other in a solemn moment, but realizing people could be suspicious they began to dance. Wilma and Digby went back to chaperoning the food, and Sklonda and Gorthalax the dance floor.

“I told you Bud could do the job.” Wilma whispered teasingly.

* * *

The next morning Sklonda awoke to the headline of the  _ Elmville Times  _ “PEDOPHILE GYM TEACHER MURDERED IN PRISON!” 

She feigned surprise when she called Jawbone to help break the news to Riz. If he suspected anything, he kept his mouth shut.

* * *

Link to the alternate ending just in case you didn't read my last note.

<https://darn-it-username-taken.tumblr.com/post/190395443881/welcome-to-class-alternate-ending-dimension-20>

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your love and support! This experience has totally restarted my love of fic writing! I wrote this because I needed to read it, but the plan became too much. However, if you were interested in finding out what the original plan was you can go here:  
> https://darn-it-username-taken.tumblr.com/post/190395443881/welcome-to-class-alternate-ending-dimension-20  
> I still have plans for other fics, but they aren’t as structured or will be as frequently updated as this. It has been a pleasure.


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